6.21.2011

I Miss..

being a size 6


seeing new muscles form


shredding


getting dressed in anything I please and not feeling massive


this profile


feeling beautiful



Instead, I now look like this


Given the circumstances (I'M PREGNANT) I know it isn't bad and it's all for the baby.
But I still have a hard time dressing myself in the morning.
I change a hundred times before I feel comfortable in anything.
I frequently say out loud "I look fat!"
I may or may not say this in front of the hubs just so he can say "you're not fat, you're pregnant".... sometimes a little reassurance is needed.


But at least I'm still doing this



so there's THAT...

I really tried to convince myself that I wasn't going to freak out at weight gain and my body changing with this pregnancy, and let me tell you, that's been harder than I thought.
The first place I go when I gain is OUT. My hips widen. I hate it.
I don't know if that's because my body automatically thinks I'm pregnant and is preparing me for labor or what, but IT.SUCKS.

Seeing my stomach change from its once flat state that I worked my ASS off for, to this round housing unit, is tough.
Mentally.

I am not worried about losing the weight, I know I can do it.
But I also know how hard I had to work to do it the first time and I'm going to have to work just as hard or harder this time.
It's daunting.

I'm trying to keep a positive attitude about it, but it's tough.
Yes, I do feel a HELL of a lot cuter with this pregnancy than I did with my last... but I still feel fat. I didn't think I would this time.

When I start to get down about the weight aspect of it, I am immediately reminded with a firm kick (from Little T) that this is not about me, it's all about HIM.....
or HER...

19 weeks with Big T

That's actually one of my better pictures.

18 weeks with Little T



There's ALWAYS a silver lining.


And just to show you what a little stink my child is...

Gotta love him though.

Photobucket

15 comments:

Erica said...

Aw Mama!! I know it's hard. I remember feeling massive with Hayden, well I was massive with him :) Then I got pregnant with Adalyn and was much healthier and more fit and soooo much cuter but still felt gross and huge. But I can say this, I frequently look back on my pregnancy pics with her and think, "Wow! I really did look cute!" I think it's hard to see it now because you see it every day, but when you are done with it all and looking back I think you'll be pleasantly surprised!

That workout pic of you is so cute! There is a pregnant girl in my body works class (i'm guessing about 30 weeks) and she is adorable! I wish I could sport a nice round belly some days!

undomestic chica said...

I'm sorry Mama. I think this is something we all struggle with. I still don't feel cute in anything I wear and my twins are 5 months old! I have a lot of respect for you still working out and trying to keep up that healthy lifestyle - that's more than a lot of us do while pregnant.

Kirsten: said...

I think you look GREAT! Give yourself a break, it will all be worth it in the end!

Stephanie said...

You ARE beautiful and you are NOT massive! I know pregnancy makes us all feel that way though.
You will look back on this pregnancy and be so proud of yourself that you started your healthiness journey before having your 2nd baby, I SO wish I would've figured all this stuff out before having kids.
You are looking great!!

Domesticated-Bliss said...

OMG you look fabulous! Don't forget that! You are soooo active and you're taking care of yourself and little T - you are my pregnancy role model - one day I hope I'm as active as you when we have kids!

Dottie said...

Seriously you are the cutest pregnant girl EVER. Your all belly, I would have died to be all belly. I was all legs, arms, and butt. I give you props for all the shredding you are still doing. That is no easy task. I had those intentions, but they went away before I did them. So hang in there, you are GORGEOUS!

Miss S. said...

Ha ha ha! Love the no phase. Owl does it too. If you ask if he is ready for nite nite or sing nap time. lol

You are freaking HOT! There, that should hold you over.

Me said...

That video is the cutest!!!!!!!! And you are rockin' this pregnancy :) Go you!

Gina said...

I feel the exact same way! 16 weeks to go (or less;-). My big shopping extravaganza lately was the men's dept of Wal-mart for some tanks & t-shirts that are supposed to be comfortable (& cheap). So exciting...either way, it is for the baby & it will come off after (hopefully a little more too).

Ashley said...

You are looking fantastic and good for you for still working out! I hope I look that good the next time around. :)

Tucker is seriously adorable!!!! Too cute!

Sarah said...

adorable no!!!!

Emily said...

goodness lady, you're doing awesome, looking at your pictures from your last pregnancy to now, you're kicking ass! and you are a cute pregnant one right now, don't think different. you'll lose the weight, i have no doubt. you've been my encouragement and i thank you for it!

Ms. J said...

You look SO cute though!! But I feel ya! Every day I ask my husband and my mom- okay, do I look fat or pregnant?? Or if I feel fat he says your not fat just pregnant! At least we have reached the legit pregnant looking stage now, those first couple months were pretty bad! Good for you for still working out too!

And that video is hilarious!

Alexa said...

He is SO cute!! Love hearing him talk. And I forget that you're from Texas until I hear your accent (if you heard my Minnesota/Wisconsin one, you would cringe!)

Love the dress in the first picture! I think it's Lauren Conrad from Kohls, but I may have to search around for it.

You're doing great!

Flab To Fab In No Time said...

I was the opposite of you. I was smaller with my first one then with my second one. With my second on I was like I shouldn't be this huge! I can understand though because I had lost a lot of weight before my first baby so I too was like oh man I am not small anymore even though I look back and I still was. You look great and it WILL come off your doing all the right things.