11.13.2012

May-Kup-Sacks

I love getting emails from my male readers about their perspective on things.
Because I'm a woman, I tend to have a one-sided view sometimes. I know, shocking.
I try to be as open and understanding as possible, but let's face it, sometimes we need more insight into the male psyche.
Not like there's a whole lot to get.
Sex and food. That's pretty much all there is to it.

So when I got an email a few weeks ago from a male reader (we'll call him Bill) about this topic I immediately knew I had to write about it.
I have mulled it over for weeks on how to get this point across without sounding too "1950's housewife".
Basically he stated that he loved having make up sex with his wife.
Not the kind of sex that comes after a big fight. But the kind where she is still in all of her "getup" from the day.

Let me explain.

As a working woman, I get up in the morning and shower, curl my hair, put on makeup, heels, etc. The whole shebang. I like to look and feel good about myself so I put a lot of effort into how I look.
The Hubs leaves for work before I ever even wake up (6am) so he doesn't see what I look like when I leave in the morning.
And when I get home from work, I immediately change into my workout gear and go run. Most days.
And most of those days he never even sees what I've worn to work.
But ALL DAYS I come home and take off my heels and whatever else is uncomfortable that I've suffered through wearing all for the sake of fashion that day (read: bra).
I change into yoga pants and a t-shirt after I get home from running. Still sweaty, and much less attractive than when I left earlier that morning and was looking, smelling like a million bucks.

See where I'm going with this?

Bill made the point that we spend all this time getting ready and looking good for OTHERS, but then we get home from the day and take everything off and wipe off all the makeup, take off the heels, and un-beautify ourselves for our spouse. And THAT'S when our husband's are supposed to make their move?
In Bill's words: "Where did the other girl go? I want her!"

Now don't go getting all defensive and bash Bill. He was just being honest and telling me what he thinks we might not have a big grasp on. And obviously I didn't!
And we don't do it on purpose.
It's just more comfortable.
I'm guilty of this.
And after reading Bill's email to The Hubs, he agreed completely. I believe his exact words were "he has a good point".
And honestly, I never even thought about it. Nor did I know how The Hubs felt about me "un-beautifying" myself when I get home.
It's kind of a catch-22. Which is why I've had such a hard time putting this into words until now.

I get home from work, go work out immediately and then come home to change into yoga pants and take all my makeup off. I do this to look good for him (among other reasons). And in the process I'm looking bad for him. Make sense?
See why this is a catch-22?

And I'm not really sure what my solution to this problem is. Honestly, it hasn't really changed much for me much after knowing it.
I still run when I get home. I still put on "comfy" clothes when I get home. I'm not sacrificing my work out schedule just so The Hubs can see me in heels.
But it has made me think a little.
I did take my hair down immediately after I ran yesterday (before The Hubs got home) and dry shampooed that mess and made it look cute again, sprayed on some body spray, and put on more deodorant. And his words to me when he got home? "I thought you went to go run?"
I did. But apparently I didn't look it.
But did I change back into my full getup from the work day? Absolutely not. That's crazy talk.

Like I said, I'm not sure what point I'm trying to get across here. Maybe it's just to make you think a little.
Maybe let your significant other see you in your full getup one day a week. Maybe put in a tiny bit more effort. Even if that means just fluffing your hair a little, putting on some BB cream (best product in the world by the way- I put it on after I take my makeup off at night and sleep in it), or splashing on some body spray after you get done working out.
I'm not saying to go all 1950's housewife and make sure you are in full hair and makeup EVERY time your spouse sees you. That trend died with the poodle skirt, folks.
But Bill had a good point.
All men are visual creatures. And what's more appealing visually, a woman in yoga pants with hair in a ponytail and no makeup, or a woman in heels and a pencil skirt?
Again, no need to bash Bill or I for pointing out some things that you may or may not have thought about before.
Regardless if you agree or not, it will at least make you think a little...




post signature

67 comments:

Elisabeth Pall said...

Great post! I am so guilty of this. However, if we go out, I definitely do my best to look good for him. Sometimes I admit, the motivation is lacking, because he doesn't EVER ask for dates. I always have to be the one to suggest going out to a movie or to shoot pool or anything else...so it is a tad frustrating. But you do have a very good point. In the same way, hubby's should also be giving us their best side sometimes too and not saving that for work and friends. Loved the post! Kudos to Bill for speaking up about it :)

Kelsey Alderman said...

Thank you for posting this! I'm a stay at home mom so half the time I don't do my hair and makeup unless we are leaving the house. Bill has some great points and so do you. Even though I stay home hubby deserves to see me looking good even when I'm not going out. :-)

Cposeley35 said...

Never ever thought about that. "Bill" does have a good point. Poor hubs gets home after 7pm most nights and sees me in my "your kid made this mess and your dog made that mess and I just spent 2 hours cleaning it up" clothes... umm.. yum? no.. Thanks for posting!

Bethany Scruggs said...

Oh, Mama L - how I adore the. I agree with him 100%. I wake up early in the am to get my work out in and then shower and get ready.. that way when I get home I can get to fixin' dinner and my hubby can see me in all my shabam.. BUT 99% of the time the 1st thing I do is strip.. like.. there will be blue jeans on the back of the couch.. sweater on the side of the kitchen barstools.. I can't even make it up stairs.. I HATE CLOTHES. So, he can't really complain to me cookin' in my undies. Hahhaaa.. But, I totally believe in the 50s housewife thing. So, I am different then most. I wish that we still lived in that time when all was expected of us was to raise the babies, clean the house, fix dinner, and look pretty.... that's all I want to do anyway! I hate corporate america.

patricia said...

OMG. I've totally thought about this before. My husband does see the finished product when I walk downstairs in the morning, and I often get "the look." The one that says "I want to take you now." I am in a rush and out the door before he can think twice. And my routine when I get home is the same as yours. I feel like I often leave him wishing and wanting!!

Kristen said...

I agree with "bill" and I often think about this. I run an in-home daycare in our basement and I dress the part. I usually have yoga pants on. I do my makeup...but not going "out" makeup. Just everyday kind of makeup. Most days my hair is down, but just brushed, not curled or anything. I often think....this look makes me feel more tired, and less like doing anything!! I have wondered about my hubs getting tired of seeing this "look" as well. So I agree with you and "bill" I will put more of an effort in my everyday outfit!!

Andrea Yliniemi said...

This is so true! I see where "Bill" is coming from. My Hubby works out of town so I only see him Friday night-Monday AM (and he leaves Monday before I'm even awake, not much of a "visual" for him to take with him!). I do try to make sure I look nice when he gets home Friday night. Great topic! I don't see why anyone would really bash Bill or you. It's a legit subject! Hope your appt at the chiro goes well today! And good luck this weekend!

Andrea Cain said...

I think Bill has a good point. For us SAHMs also. I work out at the gym in the morning and then take care of kids and clean house all day. I often shower during nap time and put comfy clothes right back on. I mean I'm not going anywhere so why dress up? But when we go out somewhere I get all gussied up. Thanks for posting this. Because of you and Bill I plan to try to make more of an effort to put on some jeans and a nice shirt sometimes rather than sweats and a T-shirt. Thanks for all the inspiration Mama.

Anna Boals said...

I always get home and change into my comfy clothes because walking the dogs after work is just not a heels type of job. Sometimes I'm "casually late" getting home from work to impress the hubbs, but it always seems like I pick his bad days and it doesn't get anywhere. He has made comments about how I ALWAYS wear sweatpants places and I have always thought of this as, "I'm comfy, I'm married, who cares." "Bill" has put this into an entirely new perspecitve for me. I'll start staying work cute more often.
THANKS "Bill" and Mama!

Bailey @ Onederland or Bust! said...

I Know exactly how this is and I think about it often! My live in boyfriend works until at least 7pm and I get off at 4:30. Typically I go for a run or some sort of workout before he gets home and a lot of times I'm still in my workout gear when he gets home.. I don't look very nice after working out and likely don't smell nice either. I've often thought that I should put myself together a bit more so he's not always seeing me in my workout clothes, but he likes to get into his comfy clothes after work too. I do put the effort in on the weekends and days that I'm not working out and it doesn't seem to be an issue with the bf, but maybe i'll start paying more attention to it.

Momma P said...

Thanks for sharing and I'm glad you abd "Bill" pointed it out! Men are visual creatures and the least I can do is keep my work getup on once a week. Mama Laughlin....inspiring others and helping men get some everywhere!

Brandi said...

This is so true! I come home from a long work day and throw on sweats so often and I often think, man, CJ is going to think I am a lazy slob... So I am glad that this affirms that we should make sure our spouses see us lookin cute more often! All the time? No. They married/live with/love us they can manage us with sweats and wet hair from time to time too. :D

Melissa Lewis said...

Excellent point, never thought of it in that respect! Thanks "Bill" for pointing it out and mama for explaining it;)

Barbara Creel said...

Thanks for the wakeup call... Going to blow out my hair and put on some makeup right now. Haha This was well written but I'm sure you're going to hear some haters... F em. I like that you keep it real even on "controversial" subjects like this one... And my hubby freaking loves when you do. Haha

Kara Wilson said...

My husband and I had this same discussion a few years ago. I have the same problem as you, I work out after work and then come home and cook. At that time he was still sleeping when I left for work, so he really never saw me all dolled up. Now, he is awake and I leave for work later so he does get to see me all pretty. On days I don't work out, I come home and cook and do the 50's housewife thing-I wear an apron :)

BrandiH said...

Props to Bill! I never really thought about this. I love hearing the "other" side.

Good luck this weekend.

Shesabigstar said...

What's BB cream? I've seen the name everywhere but IDK what it is!

Karen Stone said...

Ok I'm probably behind on the times but what's BB cream??

REBrown said...

I'm totally old school when it comes to stuff like this. Luckily my husband and I have the same work schedules and carpool so he gets to see me in all my glory most of the time!

weston'smommy said...

I am totally guilty of this too. My hubby leaves before I am 100% ready for the day and then gets home hours after me so I am all comfy. I need to try atleast 1-2 days a week dress up more when he gets home. Good point.

Amy said...

I have never thought of that but it is a very good point! I am lucky that my husband is VERY frisky no matter what I look like and he tells me daily how beautiful I am even without all the make up and high heels.

Are you and the hubs still going to do the vlog? Hope you do! :)

Good luck this weekend with your run! I'm so sorry about your pain..hopefully the Dr can figure it out for you.

Lynsey said...

My hubby is just the opposite of "Bill". He likes me better in yoga pants and has even begged me to wear them to work cause he likes how my ass looks in them. (We work together.) He'd also rather I not wear as much makeup. I don't get it but he's always been this way. I used to not leave my house without being fully made up before we had kids, even to the grocery store, so maybe he just got tired of it.

I do see where "Bill" is coming from though.

Brandy Humphrey said...

Since you mentioned it.... what brand of BB cream do you use? I have yet to find one that I like.

Thanks!!

RachelSteck said...

I am so guilty of this. Thanks for sharing Bill's viewpoint. I'm either going to wake my hubby up in the morning before I leave or make more of an effort to not look like a shlub when he gets home. Thanks for the insight.

Bren said...

My husband so doesn't care about this, so I guess I'm lucky :) He actually asks me why I bothed wearing makeup :P

You did end up making sense, Momma, but I will just add some more "food for thought": how many guys are guilty of the same thing? Bill may not be (I would assume he isn't) but I'm sure there are lots of guys who come home, shower, change our of their suits and put on their grubs.

So...maybe both sexes need to think about this more :)

Mrs. H said...

I think about this A LOT! Sometimes I will freshen up my makeup if I know he's going to be home before me, but once I get home it's yoga pants and tank tops.
Just flash him a boob and smile ladies. :)
I do get all dolled up for the rare dinner dates, and I always fix up for church on Sunday mornings. I can honestly say that my husband loves me in jeans so I guess I'm lucky :)

Meg said...

I'm glad you posted on this Mama. Recently, I had been thinking about this too. I like to look good for my hubs and I feel like sometimes I waste a good outfit on the world and not the person that means the world to me. So i have been making sure we have a date night once a week (on a work day)and I take a break from my workout schedule. This way and I can get all dolled up for the day and then go out with the hubs after. I have to say you can really tell the difference in the bedroom those nights. lol Not that its not always good but he really puts more effort in like I do on my looks that day. I think its good to want to still turn your man on so I also always try to look my best on the weekends since thats when we spend the most time together. I think I sometimes slack more at work because I figure I dont need to do too much if Im just going to sweat it out after work and theres really no one to impress there :)

Simply D said...

Great post! Lucky for me, I don't have to deal with this. My hubs is a truck driver, only home on the weekends. I usually work out early in the mornings and then get all cute for the day. :)

mommytothree said...

Ha ha...I agree with "Bill". I work at home and I don't get dolled up because honestly I get puked on, food thrown at me and play in paint, and play doh all day. Realistically it's not a thing. But when we have our date nights I get all dolled up, and when I go for a run or the gym I do put some make-up "eyes" on, because I got caught in the rut of not wearing make-up. My hubs says he likes me better without any on but I think when I have it on it doesn't look like I'm wearing it so alls good. My grandma asked me if I get done up before my hubs gets home and I just laughed at her and said no one does that anymore. Hee hee. But the older generation was wise. They might not have had the competition we have with the internet access to every hot celebrity but they made sure they looked good for their man:) I agree with Bill but honestly most of the time we are dressing for the other girls cause really unless a guy is into other guys he doesn't get the boots over the jeans thing or a pair of cute heels thing:)

Crazy Mama said...

This post definitely made me think! I'm currently a stay at home mom and I'm lucky if I get a shower in most days let alone find the time to do my hair and makeup. I used to always try to look nice for my hubby but the longer we are married the less effort I make in that department. Honestly I only do my hair and makeup now if we are going to see people so maybe three or four times every month, and I never really thought of that! Thanks to Bill for bringing that to your attention and thanks to you for sharing it!

Lindy said...

Ok so I totally agree but what if you don't get all dolled up for work? I have a job where I can wear jeans and a tshirt if I want which works for me because I'm a low maintenance girl. I just have never been a curl/straighten my hair, do my makeup and wear the most fashionable clothes kinda girl. I'm a tennis shoes, jeans and hoodie (I live in Iowa, it's cold) kinda girl. Don't get me wrong, if we go out I'll dress up a little and put on some makeup but it's not a regular thing. I just prefer to get in a little bit more sleep, a longer workout and some time cuddling with my dogs on the couch before heading off to the office every morning. So what's your advice for us lower maintenance ladies?

Sarah said...

I have this same issue. My husband works 12 hour shifts so he leaves before me and gets home 3 hours after me. So, I like to surprise him throughout the day with sexy pics... that way, he doesn't care what I look like when he gets home he just wants to pounce! :)

Carrie said...

Oh man...this hits home. My preschool class sees me looking better mostly than my husband does lol. But yes I work out and cook (in workout gear) for him but I look old and tired when he gets home.

Carrie said...

One more comment: it goes both ways. If my husband comes home and hasnt shaved or put any product in his hair and clothes looking sloppy it drives me INSANE. Usually we get ready at the same time so we both give each other a once over (he says you look cute and I say that doesnt match go change please) . Both parties need to put in effort (guys can do less with more results but cest la vie!)

Kelley Jeffers said...

i agree with this post 100% but what if your work clothes are scrubs and safety shoes? (i work in a nuclear plant) i almost think my yoga pants and tshirts are better looking than that. oh well, i guess i just need to put more effort into my look when we go out!

Heather Ward said...

I don't know one woman who isn't guilty of this! I'm lucky to make it home before I rip my bra off! And after a workout I look better w/out the makeup than I do w/ black mascara running down my blood red face! BUT, alas...I have to agree with you and Bill...make an effort at least once a week! Great post!! I think all women need a little "waking" up every now and then!

JMc said...

Sometimes I feel bad for immediately changing into something comfy when I get home, like I get all dressed up for everyone else except my man. But on days when he compliments me I usually end up staying in that at least through dinner.

btw, what brand is the BB cream that you use?

Susan Today! said...

I definitely have made a conscious effort to do this after some discussions with my husband. Sometimes, I will even put on something a little nicer after the kids go down. Thanks for reminding me. I think I have been lax.

Jaclyn N Lil M said...

I am definitely guilty of doing this!! I get up at 530 am and am out of the house before DH is awake, then get home, pjs before he gets home..

www.lilmsadventures.blogspot.com

Karie Holman said...

I am very guilty of this! I have never thought about this for my husband but I am sure he things this. I am try to get dolled up when we go places on the weekend but I always wear sweats and tshirt when I get home and on the weekends at home. He probably thinks geez what I am? I know part of me is losing weight and wanting to look good for him. I want to be the MILF his buddies can tell him he has! LOL!!

Sara said...

I may be alone here, but since I got in the habit of working out after work, I shower in the evenings right after, even on days I don't get a workout in. I may not make myself up in all-out glory, but I reapply my makeup (eyeliner only takes a minute!) and blowdry my hair just to spend time with my husband. I also put on jeans and a top -- maybe it's no pencil skirt and heels, but I figure it's better than pajamas. This way, if we decide to run an errand or go grab frozen yogurt or coffee, I'm not ashamed of how sloppy I look.

Megan @ Grimm Tales said...

My husband prefers me with no make up and also loves my butt in yoga pants. Maybe since we have only been married for 3 years that makes a difference. Perhaps in 15 he will want me to cover up the wrinkles and put on jeans to hide the butt simples. lol

Sherry said...

Just have to tell a story. My mother always freshened her makeup at night and fixed her hair. One time I asked why are you putting on makeup? Your not going anywhere. Her response..your dad will be home in a few minutes and I want to look good for him. They've been married for 59 years. Maybe I need to learn something from her.:)

Libby said...

Yeah, I've thought about this before : / but to be honest, I dont get home til 9:30 most nights (I'm a nanny + a full time job)and by that point my makeup looks like shit anyways, haha. My foundation is off, my eyeliner is worn, I'm hideous! If I get home before him I am too usually in sweat pants (big baggy purple ones, at that), no make up (yikes) and my hair is in a sloppy nappy bun. He still tries to make a move and it shocks me! When we go out together I do make a point to keep on the outfit and keep the makeup on until we are home so that way he can see me "sexy" at least once in a while ;)

Shelli said...

I read this while I sit in my black shorts, no bra and a sweatshirt with my hair in a pony. I agree with this post! I want to be comfortable after a long day but my hubs deserves his smokin wife every once in a while. ;)

Laura said...

I have thought a lot about this actually. Because I do put a lot of effort to look cute and dress cute but as soon as I am home I want to get out of it and be comfortable, but my husband as well leaves before I am even awake and gets home a lot later then me.. I realized he was only seeing me at my worst! yet he still thought I was beautiful, but I wanted to be like "well you should see me during the day" haha! I am with you, I found it was better to get the workout and be makeup less and toned then to stay fresh and cute till he got home, but I would be sure that he would see me in full dress and makeup on the weekends, 2 outa 7 aint bad! I have been trying to make a more conscious effort with this lately (esp since he works so much and we see so little of each other, and also because I am pregnant and it kinda makes me feel better about my changing body) I have made an effort to shower and put on some BB and some bronzer and a cuter set of comfy clothes, and heck even a bra, and try to make myself something he would be somewhat proud to call his wife before he gets home, and even if he doesnt care and would take me as I was before, it makes me feel more desirable without giving up too much of my comfort either :)

*Amy * said...

I agree (somewhat) however I think the tables need to be turned on this double standard as well. What about the men dolling up for us once in awhile? Sure, we don't need them to go drag and wear makeup and heels too:) LOL. They don't have to take as much time as we do to look good so why cant more men workout, get rid of the beer gut, get a decent haircut, wear cologne, shave the hair off their toes, etc, etc. Why can only women be held to such a high ideal? Both my husband and I work out together so we try that way. But I know a lot of men who expect their woman to stay in shape, look awesome all the time while they can go to hell and no one can comment. I think you should write about that one sometime:) I would love to know what the men think about that!

Angela said...

Omg, I think about this all the time!! Since I've lost weight I WANT the hubs to see me "made up". I've actually started caring a lot more now that I am more confident. I have always wandered if guys thought like that and now I know thanks to awesome you as always!!! Rock on mama and wish I could meet you in Tulsa. Are you going to do a Dallas Marathon Meet and Greet?!?

britt said...

Good timing to come across this post... My husband and I were just joking about my elastic ankle sweatpants that were popular before we were born.

Empowered Me said...

Hmmm. Am I the only one that disagrees with Bill? I mean I think doing the things that make you feel good about yourself is very important. If make up and pretty hair does that for YOU, then DO IT! But your husband should be your best friend and when Bill says "Where did that girl go, I want her." it frustrates me. He wants the phony sexualized version of his wife, not the real woman. Why as women do we need to worry about if we are beautiful enough or sexy enough for our husbands? They are supposed to love us and accept us the way we are. Do they worry about this? Not so much. They get dirty, stink, fart and act like fools and don't worry for a second that we won't find them attractive or love them anymore. Sorry to sound like such a feminist but this sort of thinking frustrates me and I feel keeps women feeling insecure.

Steph said...

@Empowered Me, It's not that they don't find us attractive anymore, it's just that occasionally, it's nice to see the "done up" version. It goes both ways more than you think. I wouldn't be over the moon if all I ever saw my husband in was his holey sweats and bed head. It's not that he needs to be in suit and tie everyday, but once in a while it's nice to see him "put together". And that's exactly what he's saying.

I am lucky that my husband would RATHER me wear the yoga pants.. But the makeup and hair done to go with it occasionally might be nice!

Claudia said...

I knew there would be a couple of Debbie Downers before I scrolled down to comment. Here's my opinion: I agree with Bill 100% and I actually think about it every day because I was raised that way. My mom has always had a full time job working in a school cafeteria. Her work gear consists of scrubs, hairnet, and safety shoes. Every day she takes the time to get home, shower, change into jeans and a nice top, do her makeup, and still cook up dinner and clean house. I am a stay at home mom so I feel like I don't have an excuse to have a messy house, no dinner and messy appearance by the time my hubby gets home. So of course I've learned from my mom, no matter how busy your day is, you make room for your spouse when they get home. She and my father have been married 25 years next year so, she must be doing something right. And I am taking her advice and running with it.

AWD said...

Love this post! I go through phases of being very motivated to "get pretty" between working out and picking up my daughter at preschool. This post makes me want to get back on the bandwagon. Not to get all dittied up in a nice outfit - but maybe just not old basketball shorts and an XXL t-shirt. Nice yoga pants, a bra, a hairbrush, and a swipe of mascara would do wonders for both of us. I would feel good about myself (because who doesn't when they fix themselves up a bit) and he would feel special too:-)

Kentucky Belle said...

I completley agree with this! My guy and I have been together 2 years and after so long I just started wearing yoga pants and shorts to go see him it's not like we were going anywhere. And I always fixed my hair when we first got together but with work and school I had been just letting it go. My mom suggested one day to do my hair and actually put effort into my apperence when I went to see him and it was like his mood changed when he saw me. I guess mothers do know best, haha.

Kristine Jenson said...

Maybe somebody else mentioned this already but my guy is the one who does this. He gets home and changes out of his nice shirt and dress pants into some crappy black lounge pants or gym shorts and a t-shirt. So this complaint can go both ways.

Miranda said...

This cracked me UP because I have an absolutely HIDEOUS pair or purple yoga pants that are too comfortable for words. They were my go-to when I got home from work and my husband would always ask me to do the "purple pants dance" (his not so subtle way of letting me know he hated them). I took the hint and the pants have been delegated to the bottom of a drawer, reserved for weekends when he's working and I'm all alone. I still wear other forms of yoga pants all the time but I secretly vowed to never wear 'the purple pants' around him again. Lord knows I made him throw away plenty of ratty, old, gross t-shirts and underwear when we got together. Also, I try to remedy the day-to-day 'blah-ness' of my outfits with a nice look when we go out for dates. Sometimes I put on a slinky little teddy for bed (always a BIG hit...)! I take solace in the fact that he pretty much lives in gym shorts/sweatpants too when not in a work uniform. Life is life.

Natalie Wilson said...

What is BB Cream? Who makes it?

Carolyn said...

This would have felt less 1950's housewife if you mentioned it goes both ways...

sneekk said...

I'm a stay at home mom of two boys (21 months and 5 months) and just the other day I was in comfy clothes when my hubby came home and he politely asked me after dinner if those were the same pjs I wore to bed last night or were they new ones! Guess I should try to at least make it look like I'm not in my pj's!

Mom Taxi Julie said...

I have actually started thinking about this lately. Mostly because one day I was telling my husband how bad he smelled (he rides his bike to the commuter train after work) and he told me "I" smelled too! haha

Abbie said...

I am really late to this, catching up on blogs for the last couple of days, but anyway I had a moment like this, this past weekend. I was involved in fashion show/event as a vendor and we had to wear cocktail type dresses. Hubby worked overnight the night before and the night after, so I woke him up right before I left to be with the kiddos. I guess he never really got to see me all done up. Then by the time I got home I was so cold and tired, I didn't have heat in my car not good on bare legs, I came in the house and threw on as many warm comfortable clothes as I could. It was later that it occured to me that he never really saw me all done up....and I felt bad. Especially since he had gone to help me pick out and purchase my dress. It is something to think about...it is always nice to see your other half out of their norm...whatever that norm may be. It helps keeping that spark going.

A Mormon Mommy said...

I have called this exact point, my "Bringing Sexy Back". Not only have I lost 30+ pounds for my husband, but I also try to make a concerted effort to be dressed nice and have my make-up on when we're together. I want to feel like I look good! Plus, like you said, why look good for others when I'm not looking good for my man!!!???

Amanda said...

Love this post! As a SAHM I don't get all dressed up most days. Makes me want to try a little harder to look good for my hubby. He's been out working to support our family a day, I should show some appreciation. ;)

Crieda Beth said...

I am so glad you wrote this. Speaking right to my heart. I got out of the Navy yesterday and while i was on terminal leave i told dh to make sure that i did mot turn into a slob. While in I hardly ever wore makeup daily and kept my hair short for less hassle. Plus, something about wearing a bun all the time was awful to me. My clothes are not super stylish anymore, i have baby weight, 3 pairs of shoes that i can wear out of uniform but i know i need to put forth effort. So, defnitely need to revamp my wardrobe and my makeup. But i refuse to wear my sweats all the time. Dh says he doesnt care but even a tshirt and jeans is better than nothing. So, in an effort to my grrove back to pre-navy days i got my nose repierced as soon as i was out and dyed my hair red again. Always said i would go back to it...i feel sexier as a redhead. So thanks for this remider.

jasi said...

Why not make a big deal about getting dressed up for lunch together on Saturdays so you can relax normally after a long week day?

I really hope he's putting in as much thought and effort into the subject on his end.

BeeBeeZfa said...

Same question about the BB cream. Which one and why. What a timely post. I was just wondering if I should be doing this yesterday. As the mom of a 2.5 month old we can say I don't really get dressed up now that I don't head to school every morning. Its been on my mind, and I am so glad I got a clear answer. I am getting my shit together this week for my man ;)!

BeeBeeZfa said...

P.S. If you have any insight into re-inventing yourself (as you seem to have done just that) please do a post on it. I need a fresh new face to show the world. Nothing wrong with the old one, but its time, and some idea's would help. So far I have got drop some lbs. and change up my hair...