I love getting emails from my male readers about their perspective on things.
Because I'm a woman, I tend to have a one-sided view sometimes. I know, shocking.
I try to be as open and understanding as possible, but let's face it, sometimes we need more insight into the male psyche.
Not like there's a whole lot to get.
Sex and food. That's pretty much all there is to it.
So when I got an email a few weeks ago from a male reader (we'll call him Bill) about this topic I immediately knew I had to write about it.
I have mulled it over for weeks on how to get this point across without sounding too "1950's housewife".
Basically he stated that he loved having make up sex with his wife.
Not the kind of sex that comes after a big fight. But the kind where she is still in all of her "getup" from the day.
Let me explain.
As a working woman, I get up in the morning and shower, curl my hair, put on makeup, heels, etc. The whole shebang. I like to look and feel good about myself so I put a lot of effort into how I look.
The Hubs leaves for work before I ever even wake up (6am) so he doesn't see what I look like when I leave in the morning.
And when I get home from work, I immediately change into my workout gear and go run. Most days.
And most of those days he never even sees what I've worn to work.
But ALL DAYS I come home and take off my heels and whatever else is uncomfortable that I've suffered through wearing all for the sake of fashion that day (read: bra).
I change into yoga pants and a t-shirt after I get home from running. Still sweaty, and much less attractive than when I left earlier that morning and was looking, smelling like a million bucks.
See where I'm going with this?
Bill made the point that we spend all this time getting ready and looking good for OTHERS, but then we get home from the day and take everything off and wipe off all the makeup, take off the heels, and un-beautify ourselves for our spouse. And THAT'S when our husband's are supposed to make their move?
In Bill's words: "Where did the other girl go? I want her!"
Now don't go getting all defensive and bash Bill. He was just being honest and telling me what he thinks we might not have a big grasp on. And obviously I didn't!
And we don't do it on purpose.
It's just more comfortable.
I'm guilty of this.
And after reading Bill's email to The Hubs, he agreed completely. I believe his exact words were "he has a good point".
And honestly, I never even thought about it. Nor did I know how The Hubs felt about me "un-beautifying" myself when I get home.
It's kind of a catch-22. Which is why I've had such a hard time putting this into words until now.
I get home from work, go work out immediately and then come home to change into yoga pants and take all my makeup off. I do this to look good for him (among other reasons). And in the process I'm looking bad for him. Make sense?
See why this is a catch-22?
And I'm not really sure what my solution to this problem is. Honestly, it hasn't really changed much for me much after knowing it.
I still run when I get home. I still put on "comfy" clothes when I get home. I'm not sacrificing my work out schedule just so The Hubs can see me in heels.
But it has made me think a little.
I did take my hair down immediately after I ran yesterday (before The Hubs got home) and dry shampooed that mess and made it look cute again, sprayed on some body spray, and put on more deodorant. And his words to me when he got home? "I thought you went to go run?"
I did. But apparently I didn't look it.
But did I change back into my full getup from the work day? Absolutely not. That's crazy talk.
Like I said, I'm not sure what point I'm trying to get across here. Maybe it's just to make you think a little.
Maybe let your significant other see you in your full getup one day a week. Maybe put in a tiny bit more effort. Even if that means just fluffing your hair a little, putting on some BB cream (best product in the world by the way- I put it on after I take my makeup off at night and sleep in it), or splashing on some body spray after you get done working out.
I'm not saying to go all 1950's housewife and make sure you are in full hair and makeup EVERY time your spouse sees you. That trend died with the poodle skirt, folks.
But Bill had a good point.
All men are visual creatures. And what's more appealing visually, a woman in yoga pants with hair in a ponytail and no makeup, or a woman in heels and a pencil skirt?
Again, no need to bash Bill or I for pointing out some things that you may or may not have thought about before.
Regardless if you agree or not, it will at least make you think a little...