Let me start off with a disclaimer:
I DO have stretch marks and loose skin from pregnancy/losing weight.
They are (mostly) all below my belly button and are hidden with bikini bottoms.
You can still see them in a bikini, though.
I also have them on my hips from gaining weight over the years (the place I gain weight first is my hips).
YES, I am self conscious about it. YES, I still have anxiety when I'm out in public in a bikini.
I am constantly thinking about what I look like, how other people are seeing me, if they can see my stretch marks, what they are thinking, etc.
Alcohol helps.
I won't lie there.
You typically won't see me in a bikini in public without a drink in my hand.
It's because I'm uncomfortable!!!!
How do I even get the confidence to put on a bikini and make the initial first steps into a public place in it?
I can tell you this... I have worked HARD for my body.
No, it's not perfect. Yes, I have stretch marks. Yes, I still jiggle when I walk. I have cellulite on the back of my legs.
But I'm also confident in my journey.
I'm proud that I've lost the amount of weight I have and have done it in a healthy way.
I don't look like a supermodel, I probably never will.
But I've lived my journey. I know what all hard work it has taken to get me in that bikini.
So while I may be sweating bullets, I am still proud.
I worked my ass off to look the way I do, imperfections and all.
And if you're going to think negative thoughts about me or make negative comments about how I look in a bikini, then you can suck it.
I have noticed this goes both ways.
I used to maybe judge people in bathing suits when I was thinner (before I ever got fat) about how they looked, etc.
I was young and selfish and hadn't been through any kind of weight struggles. What did I know?
But I can tell you that NOW, I judge NO ONE.
I don't care if you're 300 lbs. in a bikini, you will see no judgement from me.
Because that's YOUR journey. Maybe you've lost 100 lbs. already, how am I to know?
Same thing when you see me in a bikini.
Don't judge me. You may not know my story.
This goes for the skinny people, too.
I used to snicker at you when I was bigger. I'd think "I'll never look like that" or "man, she needs to eat a hamburger."
No, I'm not super skinny now, but I am on the smaller side. So don't snicker at me and think you know my struggles. You probably don't.
And I promise not to do the same.
No judgement.
Everyone has their own story.
The reason y'all can't really "see" my stretch marks in all their glory is because I am self conscious about them and hide them as much as I can.
That's very difficult for me to admit to. Because I try and put myself out there for the benefit of others, but I do still have things I don't like to show you.
Megan has offered to come over and do an ItWorks experiment with me and wrap me up and take pictures with her HD camera! I about freaked out when she offered.
Someone else up close and personal??? LOOKING AT MY STRETCH MARKS!??!?! NO THANK YOU!
Despite all that I am proud of what all I have accomplished and how I've helped women along the way.
And if that sets me up for scrutiny, so be it.
Now don't get me wrong, the second I can afford a tummy tuck, I'm so getting one (hopefully by my 30th birthday).
But until then, I'll rock my bikini, with my stretch marks and flaws for the whole world to see.
Because you haven't been in my shoes, and you don't know that, while it's not perfect, it's certainly progress!
Dammit.
One of my readers made that for me and posted it on my Facebook page. I thought it was funny because I look NOTHING like that.
But I did used to look like this...
Like I said... Progress, not perfection!
62 comments:
Love this! You are such an inspiration & it's great to see how far you've come! :)
Thank you for being real!
thank you for this..i'm only a teenager and still read your blog everyday & get inspired. I'm thin but I too work hard and I can admit to judging people that wear bikinis when they're not in the best shape. Thanks for giving us perspective! love youu:)
Great post and you are SO right!! You look great!!!
You look beautiful in a bikini. Strech marks are a badge of honor. Whether they were earned from pregnancy or weight loss (or both) we all worked hard to get those marks.
Ummm... you look fantastic! I think us mommas are too hard on ourselves. I wish my stretch marks were more hidden... mine made a super fun circle around my belly button when I was preggo with my first! The second made it look like a spirograph picture!! lol
This is perfect!!! I feel the same way about my journey all thanks to your blog which got me started! I will never judge a mom in a bikini because I don't know their story. Keep it real like you always do and maybe at the end of operation red bikini you'll look like the photoshop pic! You rock Mama L!!!
I have to comment on your eyes. It is so crazy how bright they are now compared to your 'before' pictures. I notice them right away every time I see your pics. Is it happiness? Confidence? Whatever it is they are beautiful!
Great post, btw!
You go girl! I think you look smokin' hot and you SHOULD flaunt it! You have worked your buns off and it shows!
You're awesome. Good job lady! I still have 70 pounds to go... but know I can do it too. :)
You.Are.Awesome!!!!!! Thank you. I put on a bikini...actually I "bought" AND put on a bikini for the first time in 8 years this past summer. I was fat. Not gonna lie, but 23mos ago when I had Justice I weighed 196#s and currently weigh 144#s so I thought "you know what onlookers...who probably aren't looking at me as much as I think... I have freaking lost 52#s after a 6# premie and I have earned this moment!! I just love you- lezbehonest- you are a rockin' hot Mama and Thank You for being so vulnerable for those of us that love your inspiration.
Thanks for the post..I am down 6lbs(I know not much right) and it seems I have soooo far to go...so I come back to your blog for my inspiration and motivation
Love this post! When is your 30th?
damn guuurl you fine!!! rock on!! Fabulous work!
Great post. Even when I was younger and thin I didn't think I was "good enough" to wear the bikini and now I am heavier than I was at 22 but am proud of how hard I work. I wear what I feel comfortable in!
Amen!!! I wore a bikini on our vacation because there was no one there that knew me and I didn't care if they judged me! Now I plan on rockin' one this summer!
You look awesome and have come a long way!! Keep it up!
I love this. You are an inspiration to so many women, myself included. Seeing you in your bikini makes me want to go try on some bikinis myself. I have lost about 40 lbs since I had kiddo #2, 15 lbs of that after I found your blog and the fitcamp FB page and became a runner! Never stop being you and anyone else with negative stuff to say can suck it!
You look amazing! Being in public nearly naked with all of your flaws on display is hard enough, no one should be judging anyone else. I second your thoughts on liquid courage. That's why some genius invited the swim up bar!
I am right there with you!! I have loose skin AND lovely stretch marks right smack in the middle of my tummy! AND...I didn't get the stretch marks from having babies, mine are simply from being a very overweight kid and young adult. People are always shocked to hear I wear a string bikini. Especially since I am 41...gasp! I am sorry but I did not work my a** off to lose 115 punds and not show it off! There is plenty of beauty in imperfections. You look AMAZING and need to rock that bikini!! Doing so will inspire more people than you can imagine.
One thing I've learned in my ongoing weight loss journey and even now six months after my stillborn daughter is that EVERYONE has a story, a trial(s) and hardship at some time or another so I will never, ever judge...ever. We're not all perfect and that's totally fine, especially us Mom's that have had kid(s). I love how real and honest you are. It's VERY refreshing!
I think you look DAMN good!
Well said! Love yourself and all your flaws. I also have loose skin and stretch marks, but this may be the year that I try and rock a bikini. It has been nearly 13 years since I last wore one so it is about time.
Love love love this post. You are so right and I know that we all can take a lesson on not judging whether we are big or small.
You continue to inspire me. I hope that I have the courage to wear a bikini this summer. (even if it's only in the backyard)
Every woman has the right to rock what they feel comfortable in (umm...as long as it's covering the important bits at least, right?). I think you rock and you are an inspiration. Plus you're pretty damn hot.
I love this! It's amazing what a sprinkle of confidence will do!!
It's all about how you FEEL. I still haven't put on a bikini since my daughter (she will be 6) but this past year I have worked my tail off and I will stuff myself into one this summer - if it is the LAST thing I do. CONFIDENCE and PRIDE in how much we have worked for it - that is key... You ROCK it girl - you look FANFREAKINTASTIC and so deserve it.
Oh I'm coming with my camera, you better get on board! �� You look amazing and as long as you don't rock a thong we can hang out by the pool and drink it up together with our fat hips hanging out!
you are an amazing woman! rock that body that you've earned! there are lots of us that are striving for that as well!! thanks for keeping it real!
I love this post and think you are gorgeous and amazing for what you do. You wear that bikini and wear it proud!
Girl, you rock that bikini!
Rockin' my socks off over here, Mama!
To clarify I checked the "hilarious" box because of the photo one of your followers posted and because you were like "dammit" lol. I think you're wonderful heart your blog hardcore. xo
You rock!
Thank you for your bravery to post a picture of yourself in a bikini online!! It's very motivating for me. I'm on my own weight loss journey and have often thought, "Maybe I should just stay fat. I mean, what am I going to look like after I lose the weight? Will I look terrible?". Seeing a post likes this is inspiring because you look fabulous! It makes me think, "Ok. It won't be so bad". Thanks!!!
So funny!
Haters gonna hate! I too would have to have a drink or two in my system to be gutsy enough to wear a bikini. It's just the fat girl in me. I say, keep doing what you're doing!
Such a wonderful post! You are incredibly inspiring!
I saw the top pic and was like, "Really you crazy bitch?" Ha! You look great girl, keep doing your thang!
Sigh. My stretch marks and loose skin are stressing me the eff out these days. They're baaaad. And they make me think that I'll never be able to rock a bikini, even though I've come so far. The last few days, I've been trying some homemade wraps. I'm really hoping they help--I took a before pic so I'm all primed and ready to do a "secret to my smooth stomach" post. If only!
Such an inspiration!! You look amazing!!
xoxo
Melanie
Awesome progress, great post.
Sheree
thehartungs.blogspot.ca
You are incredible, and no one should ever have anything negative to say about you! For how open and honest you are, you are truly an inspiration :) Just think of your stretch marks and cellulite like battle wounds :) to remind yourself how amazing you are
www.lilmsadventures.blogspot.com
You tell em girl! There are always going to be haters out there who are not happy with themselves and try to pull you down. Stay strong! You look amazing and are an inspiration to many.
You are so awesome!!! Not only did you encourage me to start my own weight loss journey but you have helped me with my blog to find my voice and be me. I adore you!!!!! Keep doing you!
Toya
www.kismetandkilograms.blogspot.com
i think that's the key to confidence: working your a$$ off! i've been skinnier than i am now (but that's only because i was a teenager haha) and i feel a lot more confident in a bikini today - just because everything feels tighter, etc. from all the working out... i'm not sure how it looks to everyone else, but it feels good to me! :)
You look great in a bikini! Funny that you said a friend was going to do a wrap. I just recently heard about it and wanted to know what you knew about it. Can you please share how it works? I'm thisclose to my goal weight (2 pounds away as of this morning!), but I have a lot of loose skin and stretch marks. It sounds like the wrap helps clear that up nicely, but I don't want to waste the money if it doesn't work.
You have such an amazing attitude, and girl, you do not need to be sweating bullets... I think you look effing amazing!
Ha! I showed my husband the photoshopped bikini pic and said, "Look what Mama Laughlin looks like in a bikini now!" His eyes about fell out of his head and he yelled, "FRICK!" Until I started laughing and told him it was a joke. He's an art director/designer for an ad agency and basically photoshops for a living but he didn't realize it was fake.
But seriously, you are a hot mama, Mama. You can rock a bikini and you can wear it proudly because you aren't just relying on good genes. You EARNED that shiz!
You are amazing Mama...and you look great in your bikini!!!
You should rethink the tummy tuck. I think you look great and a tummy tuck is major surgery. One more year of exercise will bring about the same result. You had two kids pretty close together. Your body will still bounce back some!
If I looked like you in a bikini, I would soooooo be having my picture taken! Wait! I have looked like that and I DID have my picture taken. Not so much anymore! Someday...I've almost got the courage to get off the couch and work out. I even bought Jillian's 30 Day Shred yesterday. I ate mostly healthy yesterday. I will join you in a bikini SOMEDAY!!! Thanks again for the inspiration!
Oh the dreaded Bikini!! When i weighed 120 pounds i HATED wearing a bikini, i would run into the lake/pool as fast as i could and as soon as i got out i made sure the towel was as close as possible. Now that I am 50 pounds heavier i avoid all bodies of water!! I don't even take baths. My point, even when you are skinny you can feel uncomfortable in a bikini. I tried wearing a one piece too and i felt naked. I think some people are just naturally more comfortable in their own skin (and bikini) than others. Love your body, i'm working on this now along with losing that 50 pounds. I lost 5 pounds recently and it is amazing how much more confident you feel when that scale is decreasing instead of increasing. You go girl and enjoy your bikini!! You deserve it and look great!!! One day i hope to feel comfortable in a bathing suit!!
PS stretch marks SUCK, but without them we wouldn't have our little blessings. So rock them. A 20 year old with out a child isn't going to understand that, but seriously i'm done trying to be at the same level as a 20 year old. When they are 30 with kids they will understand :)
I think this is my favorite post that you have ever written! I love it.♥
Girl! You worked hard you FLAUNT that rockin' bod!! Fact is MOST mom's have all the jiggle, the marks, and the skin from their kids and each one of us has something we don't like so much about ourselves but its no reason to be ashamed or feel any less confident in yourself as the next person! Its like I tell my daughter "Your strong, your beautiful, and your confident no one can steal that from you! ;) Rock it, girl! Rock it!
This post really hit home for me. Ladies we need to be building each other up! Stop the negativity, if we knew the whole story behind every person's body we'd probably feel like big jerks for harboring negative thoughts about them. Even though I'm still relatively new to mama's blog it is my favorite blog because of posts like this.
"But I've lived my journey."
I love this. This is exactly where I am right now. I am working my ass off for this life that I have. And, you know what? It's pretty damn good. No, we are not perfect, but we are living our journey. Keep on keeping on, because you are one cool mama.
You are badass! Your weight loss and fitness while raising kids and working full time provides daily inspiration for me! If you can make time to do it, so can my fat, single, childless ass!
I love your blog but I have a question! As a mom of a 6 year old, I've fluctuated on weight for years and gone through periods of working out great to not at all. Same with the yoyo dieting. I'm finally back on track but my concern that I can't seem to shake is the lower tummy. When I look down in pushup form, there's loose skin that hangs down and frankly, makes me want to cry! Crunches, situps...all they do is make the abs behind that tear-jerking pooch stronger but it's still there...
ANY TIPS would be greatly appreciated!!!
Thank you!!!
Such an inspiration!! I love these types of stories.. I can truly relate. I started my weight loss journey Oct. 2010 at 206lbs, now I'm at 135lbs. At 5'2 I still have about 15lbs to go.. working out and eating healthy has been the best choice I've made in life.. Keep up the awesome work! You're amazing!
You rock that bikini! You're such an inspiration! When I'm feeling uncomfortable in my bikini, I always try to remind myself that every single ripple and stretch mark is a reminder of the love I share with my children. They are the reason I breathe, and they are also the reason I work so hard to stay healthy...
You look great! Thank you for being real! Not a lot of people are willing to do that. I am super glad I ran into your blog ;) you are an inspiration to others!
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