2.20.2013

How Losing Weight Changed My Marriage

With significant weight loss comes a lot of changes.
Not only is your body changing, but so are a lot of other things.
The world around you is now treating you differently.
Whether we want to believe this is true or not, IT IS.
When I was bigger I just blended in. I knew I was big, I was aware of it, so I tried to make The Hubs happy in other ways.
I grew up in the South. Where the woman cooks dinner for the man every night and when he says "jump" she says "how high?"
My mother bent over backwards for her family and her husband. And my dad worked his ass off to provide for me, my brother and my sister.
And I loved that growing up.
My dad was the head of the household and my mother enforced that.
What my dad said, WENT. PERIOD.
It was a constant for me during my childhood. Kids thrive on routine, and we had a good one.
My parents are both very loving and caring and I wouldn't change a single thing about the way I was raised.
But the older I get, the more I realize that things, and TIMES have changed.
I saw my parents marriage growing up as one I wanted to have.
I would have never told my mother this growing up, but I wanted to be just like her one day.
She was an AMAZING cook, an INCREDIBLE caregiver and the smallest lady you'd ever meet with the BIGGEST heart.
Anyone who knows my mom would tell you that.
She is all of 5'1 (on a good day), but she'd give you the shirt off her back if you needed it.
She was a perfect housewife.
So I strived to be just like her in my own marriage.
At this time I was overweight. In the back of my mind I thought "well I'm not sexy, I might as well be a good cook and clean the house!"
So I did that.
I tried my best to have dinner made for my husband every night and I made sure the house was clean, his laundry done, etc.
I was the quintessential 1950s housewife.
And my husband grew accustomed to this.

During the course of our dating my husband felt the need to "protect" me.
I was a young 18 years old and still had a lot to learn about the world in general and how things worked.
And he liked being able to teach me things.
He also liked being able to somewhat "control" what I did.
Now, before you shake your head and think he's an asshole, you must know a few things about my husband.
He just wants the best for me, and sometimes I think he still sees me as that 18 year old girl.
I would have bent over backwards for that man, and I did.
I saw a lot of my own father in him, which is I think what attracted me to him.
He was bold and confident and things were "his way or no way".
I liked his take control attitude.

And then I lost weight.

And things changed a little.
The dynamics of our marriage shifted.

Yes, it came after having kids, but really more so after having lost a significant amount of weight.

No longer was I scared to speak my mind. No longer did I feel like I couldn't do things for myself, that I needed him to do it, or his approval.
Hell, I'd just lost 60+ lbs. on my own, I COULD DO ANYTHING!
That's how I felt... err... feel.
And he's having a hard time adjusting to this.

We are in a transition phase in our marriage.
I no longer want to be the perfect little housewife. Sure, I love to cook and take care of my family, I still have those desires, but the desire to please my husband IN LIEU of feeling sexy is no longer there.
I am not jealous anymore of the people he sees on any given day.
I am happy in my own flabby skin.
And I no longer need someone telling me what to do, I can do it my damn self.

"You aren't the woman I married"

He said those words to me the other day.
He was half kidding with a smile on his face, but those words stuck with me.
He was right.
I'm not.
I'm not the overweight woman who longed to only please you.
I'm not the overweight woman who just wanted to go out to eat and watch movies.
I'm not the overweight woman who came home every day and sat on the couch all night.
I'm not the overweight woman who never wanted to hang out with anyone because I was so unhappy with myself.
I want to go places.
I want to play with our kids outside.
I want to run together.
I want to hang out with girlfriends.
I want to DO STUFF other than cook and clean in order to please you.

I have more energy and more desire and a bigger passion for LIFE since losing weight.
I don't stress over the house not being clean, or toys being everywhere.
I am alive, I am happy, and I AM HEALTHY.  
I never felt those things when I was bigger.

Like I said, he's having a hard time adjusting to this new side of me.
I've always been this person, but now it's just amplified.
Losing weight has made me realize something...
I AM WORTH IT!
I don't NEED a man to please.
Although I love mine and I do love pleasing him, it is NOT what I base my universe around now.
My world doesn't end when The Hubs is unhappy that I'm going to Happy Hour with Megan.
He'll get over it.
Because I'm a mom, dammit, and sometimes I need a few drinks.
Now, when he says "no", it's not the end of the conversation.
I will talk him through it and I'm not afraid to stand up to him anymore.
I won't tuck my tail between my legs and mope off.
That's not me, and I'm ashamed to say it ever was.

Marriage is tough. It's not always perfect and easy.
It rarely is.
I saw this the other day on Pinterest and I LOVE it.
I love my husband and my kids with all my heart, but I'm not JUST a wife and a mom.
I'm first and foremost A WOMAN.

A woman who is quite capable of doing things her way. I may get lost, I may make mistakes, but I'll get there.
And losing the weight taught me that.



73 comments:

kristine said...

I needed this today. Thank you for being you.

Jaclyn N Lil M said...

Proud of you and your hubs for getting through different stages of life! it's not easy to adjust being married, married with kids, and married with confidence enough to be a woman/mom/wonderful wife

xoxo

www.lilmsadventures.blogspot.com

Mackenzie Mendoza said...

I love how you journal your personal, funny, and soemtimes not funny, but raw feelings through your blog. Marriage is not easy, love the quote and I truly believe it. Hell and back is how I describe my relationship.. :)

Carolyn said...

Love this. Congrats on your new found independence!

Busy Becka said...

to the moon sister. love you to the moon! im so proud of you!

Tricia Kellas said...

Wow, Wow, Wow!!! You nailed it right on the head. Being overweight is not only crippling to your self esteem, but your very existence. Too many times I personally focus on making other people happy just to avoid the inner demons I am currently working on. I want to be my own person. I want to be a good wife, but I can totally see how being overweight prevents me from doing so. Jealousy, insecurities, loneliness... I too want to be my own women. Thank you for the extra push I needed to get off my ass.

www.newmomnewjeans.blogspot.com

Elle Noel said...

I bet this was super hard to write. I admire your ability to be so open and honest. I think a lot of couples shift/struggle after going through such a large transformation, because when you come out on the other side, you are not the same person. I know my husband has had issues with my own weigh loss journey. It's something that a lot of people but don't like to talk about but LOTS of people experience. Props to you lady!

Karie said...

I needed to hear this today from another woman. I am having some hard times with hubby at the moment due to the fact of his selfishness and it is absolutely driving me crazy. I love him and our children so much but I think I forget that I am a person a woman also before I become wife and mom. Those are not my only titles. I need to be an individual also. Thank you for this reminder!

Katelyn said...

This is TOTALLY the truth! And he will work through that as well! Its amazing how weight loss can effect everyone in the home but it does. Go you for realizing its OK to say "Wait! I have a voice too!". I am woman, hear me roar! haha But you are getting your confidence and your inner feisty back with each pound and he is learning just how beautiful and strong his lady is! He is learning the "real" priorities are the happiness of his woman, not the dishes and the dirty socks!!!! He sounds just like my hubs! He has had this "ah ha" moment himself in the last 6months! haha Takes them a little while to catch up but they will be a lot happier once they do as well! haha

ANGIE HOLMES said...

Damn right, Mama! As a mom of teen boys and a wife of 17 years, I to feel this way. I have put everyone before myself. I've always lived to please my "boys". I am now putting myself first and doing things for me. Losing weight is first on my list!

Margaret S said...

Thank you for posting this - we have been through some similar patches as I have lost 90 lbs in the last year. I am a different person, with different priorities and ideas. And our relationship is different and we are figuring it out as we go! Thank you for being so honest on your blog.

patricia said...

Very relevant post. I think we all are in some form of adjustment in our relationships as a result of choosing to put ourselves somewhere on the priority list. I can honestly say I am NOT the woman my husband married, and THANK GOD. He is also not the man I married. It's all growing pains, and everyone works through it in their own way. My mom raised me to be nothing like her subserviant self, but I started out just like you. Cook, clean, provide every need. No more... =)

Elizabeth H said...

Wonderful post showing the ups and downs of marriage.

Elizabeth

http://footballbeachmom.blogspot.com/

Samantha said...

I feel like you could be talking about me in the early days of my marriage. Your mom sounds just like my mother in law, and I wanted so bad to be like that and please everyone. But you are right, times have changed. A lot. In a 2-income household, everyone has to pitch in to make it work. I was like you in that I did everything and was little Susie Homemaker/Betty Crocker, and when I couldn't keep up with that anymore, it was a hard adjustment. I also met my husband when I was 19, and like you say, whatever he said went. Not so anymore. For me, I'm still losing the weight so a lot of this has come with age in my case. But this post spoke to me a lot. Marriage can be so hard and so wonderful at the same time.

www.24to30.com

Kkapsiak said...

Marriage is like arthritis. It hurts like hell, but you learn to live with it! LOL! I know what you mean totally. I lost 50 pounds about 5 years ago and not only did my marriage change ( I was regularly referred to as the diet Nazi), but my mom kept telling me to stop losing weight because I was getting "too skinny and sickly looking" - and I weighed 150 lbs! Now, I'm ashamed to say I've gained 35 pounds back and I'm on the road to getting back to being too skinny / sickly / Diet Nazi. Haters can kiss it!

Sheela D. said...

Thank you so much for sharing this. I am on a weight loss, getting my life back, journey as well and I would be lying if I said I didn't think it would change my husband and I's relationship. He's only known the bigger me. We're going to find out though! :)

Rikki said...

Please, PLEASE have the hubs to the counter-post to this... soon.

Jonathan Stubbs said...

I do not have a blog but I read yours regularly. I have never commented before. I just want you to know how awesome it is that you are so honest and real! I love how people can relate to you ... because you dont put up a front. You open your heart and write like you are talking to a best friend. Keep up the good work. Much love coming from NC!

Lindsay said...

Such a powerful post! I love it!
I'm losing weight right now and getting married in June and have often thought about how/if our relationship will change when I'm smaller - now I have no doubt that it WILL change and that it's OK!

Thanks, Mama! :)

Danielle Limon said...

With each blog posting, I am grateful that by chance I ran into YOUR blog. You have opened my mind to things that don't just involve changing unhealthy habits with food and exercise but also changing unhealthy habits that exist mentally within myself. We have never had a face to face and probably never will but your amazing strength, heart, attitude and words have made me think very deeply about things that I've never given a second thought to. I truly thank you for not only motivating your "virtual friends" to become physically healthy but also motivating us (me more specifically) to become mentally healthy and strong! The men in your life are blessed to have such a strong beautiful woman in theirs! Keep goin' girl your kickin' @$$. Forever grateful, Ms. Findin' my way in AZ

Jessica said...

Great Post!! I love it. Thank you for being so honest with us!!

Limefreckle said...

wow, your posts lately are so raw and so open ! I LOVE IT! I'm a people pleaser to some extent, I've always pretty much spoke my mind in my marriage....but other parts of your post really hit me -- I LOVE THAT QUOTE!! Thanks for writing this, I needed it today!

Katie Sneek said...

Great Post! I love how you tell it like it is! Marriages go through many phases and changes, thanks so much for sharing you life with all of us. It is truly a blessing to have found your blog. :)

Trista said...

I needed this post today just as much as I needed Megan's yesterday. You girls rock!

dani bentley said...

let me just say, thanks! I felt that way about pleasing my husband it ultimately made me gain 30 pounds. I've lost 20 of that and am happier and in charge it is night and day from what it was. I wish I would have found this blog sooner! Thanks Mama Laughlin

Hope said...

Amazing post!!! I just told my husband the other day that I am going to make MYSELF a priority. May not be easy with four kids, but I am determined to do it.

Amber Coughlin said...

I feel like we should be best friends! (I bet you get that a lot) I'm not nearly as badass as you, BUT I met the hubs when I was 16, been together for 10 years, we had two kids, we both work full time, and since baby number 2 (3 months ago), I have lost 45 pounds. I want to do everything in this world to please, and provide for, my family, but lately we have been having a power struggle, because after baby numero dos, I have been wanting to lose weight the healthy way, which means cutting into the time I would ordinarily be devoting to them. It means spending lunch breaks running, instead of running errands. It means yoga at night, instead of an extra load of laundry. It means an extra workout on the weekends, instead of picking up toys. Whatever, though. This isn't the first "season" of marriage that we've been through, and it won't be the last. Time to do something for me :) So thankful you have a voice to share with other women who might feel guilty about whether or not they should be doing something for themselves.

Julieann said...

I had to read this post twice.. I completely relate to the first half, and am looking forward to the second half. There is nothing better in the world then having confidence and I CANT WAIT to get it back!! Please please let shaun share his side!!

Ashley Johnson said...

I love this! :)

ally™ said...

I could have written this exact post. This is so my life and my relationship with my husband. Thank you for being so honest and inspiring.

Danielle K said...

This was just what I needed! Thank you for keeping it real :)

Kate said...

I'm so in awe of your courage. You're so REAL on this blog! I love how you open up so much of your life to us! It really helps to know that I'm not alone in thinking and feeling the things I think and feel. I don't quite relate to this particular post--I'm the stronger personality in my marriage and I started dating my husband when I was 24 (I think you have a much better idea of who you are and what you want at that age than 18). I've never had to struggle to assert myself--in fact, it's probably the opposite. BUT this post did show me how being open and honest can have such an impact. And it made me admire you more!

Sylvia H said...

Amen! I haven't lost all of my weight, yet , but I'm totally on the same page as you. My hubby is very traditional and we butt heads ALOT because he thinks I should just bend and bow to his every whim. I always tell him that I'm my own person and that I have my own agenda. I'm not willing to be unhappy just to make everyone around me happy. You have to find a happy medium. I want to be able to do the things I enjoy without constantly having to worry about who I need to "take care" of. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else! That's my motto. :)

Sarah Martin said...

I loved this! I've lost 25 lbs so far (with 90 more to go) and I have had a hard time with feeling guilty about working out cutting in to time with my family. This really helped!

Emily said...

I love this post. It's my favorite you've ever done. I have to say, I think a lot of what you write is also about maturity both personally and in marriage. Marital dynamics change b/c people change. Good for you for recognizing this, for seeking out your own independent needs, and for giving your husband some understanding. That is what good partners do. You guys can only emerge stronger from all of this!

angela said...

Word for word perfect. Excellent. Kick motherfucking ass. My husband is the same and while that was endearing at first, and I enabled it to take over the dynamic of our relationship, I now know that in order to MAINTAIN a lasting marriage, I need to be myself. I do have to remind him that ultimately, that person was who he was attracted to in the first place. I am not "defiant," "stubborn," "just doing whatever [I] want to do regardless of how [he] feel[s]." I am strong, independent, confident and is that not exactly how you hope your daughter will be when she's grown? It's hard to not get defensive with him when he argues this with me, but he isn't trying to change me or keep me from being happy, he's just used to me being a certain way. I have had to also remind him that if he's going to make me choose between myself and the version he may be used to, i will ALWAYS choose me. And that will ALWAYS benefit the both of us and our children.

Not sure you know of me, but I'm Amber's Austin-BFF... I think this post kicked some major ass!

Peace Love Applesauce- Terri said...

Great post!
My relationship is mostly like your parents and yours before, what he says goes. I don't undermine him. Guess I'm still waiting to grow that backbone. LOL

Momto3 said...

I marked hilarious too, because you are so right it made me chuckle. I have thought many a same thing. I am almost bullheaded at times, but I still struggle with what I should or shouldn't do. Still seeing myself as the fatter self (still have more to go) is hard...it has changed me. I'm not as worried about what everyone thinks of me and I feel that I'm worth being taken seriously. It's hard, but change is good. I love that you said it out-loud for us all to share-because unless you've been there, people don't understand these changes. ;)

Mrs. Kirbyface said...

This is BY FAR my most favorite post yet. I"m so happy I started following you. YOU inspire me. Thank you for that.

Liz Mitchell said...

Wow... that was exactly what i needed today. I'm early in my new healthy lifestyle and my husband treats it like its just a phase I'm going through :/ I've always been outspoken but I tend to always want my husbands approval on every little thing I do. I don't NEED his approval. I feel powerful and so much more alive than I ever had since i starting eating right and working out everyday! Thank you for being so honest about your marriage! you are such an source of inspiration to me!

SouthernMama said...

I really needed this today, the past week between my husband and I has been at wits end to say the least and I'm only beginning my weight loss journey again, as well as acquiring a new job. Thanks Brandi!!!

Kira Russell said...

I just have to say you are amazing. I am a little scared of the woman I will become when I lose the weight because I am already the outspoken, take no prisoners kind of girl. I think it was my coping mechanism from being a single mom of 2 girls. But if you were amplified by the weight loss then OMG I will be super bossy pants. My husband already has to reel me in sometimes. I love the end about Marriage being tough. My MIL told me before my husband and I got married that Marriage is the hardest job you will ever have and you will have to work at it. I find that especially hard because I was a single mom my mind was set on how life should be and that all went out the window when we married and joined our ideas. Thank you for being and inspiration you are amazing!

Nichole said...

So when I first met my husband, I was sassy, confident and thought I was the shizz. Five years later and I've gained 40 or so pounds and while I still can be sassy and outgoing,not like I used to be and that makes me sad. I think hubs is happy but I know (while he doesn't say it) that he probably misses that girl who has been replaced with a less confident one who relies on him in ways I never needed to before. Funny how we're on complete opposite sides of the spectrum.

Rebecca said...

I've been reading your blog for a few months now. I admit to finding you on Pinterest and reading your entire blog over the course of a week or so!

I really appreciate your honesty! It is hard to watch a loved one change. Sometimes it's hard to let go of how things were, because they were comfortable, even if they were not healthy. Do you think that perhaps some counseling would help you guys readjust to the new way of life for you two? Just a thought. Counseling is great for smaller issues before they turn into humongous ones!

You are an inspiration to me. :) I've lost 55 lbs and am on my way to losing the last 50-60. I have become a fitness instructor along the way, too. It is a bit scary not to be teeny like some of the other instructors, but who says I have to wait to live my dreams? Not me. G

Laurie Hoffman said...

My mother sounds very much like yours and my parents relationship was also similar. I too tried to model my marriage after theirs and now I'm realizing there is a better way for my husband and I. My health is top priority right now and a lot of bitching has been done about that in my household but seriously... they are all capable of getting their own snacks and finding their own "lost" items if it keeps mommy from dying of a heart attack at 40.

Amanda said...

love you and Megan. You two are the only reason I get my ass off the couch somedays.

Also, I had a dream I met you and we had a lifetime moment together and I cried for joy telling you I lost 13lbs so far off my fat ass. WEIRD.

XOXO

nortiz03 said...

I know what your talking about. Me and husband have been together for 10 years, since I was 17. I always tell people we take care of each other. He takes care of me and I see him as my protecter thats just how he is. I take care of him in making sure he eats well, house is clean, his clothes are clean etc. Its just always been like that.
When Im working out good I have more confidence and just feel more independent. He's commented on me just being different but not in a bad way. He does notice it though.
So I totally understand what you are talking about!

Wenndy said...

Dude!!! I rarely comment, but this was an epic. So right. Thank you so much for keeping it real... in more ways than one. =}

Stephanie said...

Amen, sister!! Well said!!

mommytothree said...

Preach it sista! I sometimes think my hubs is jealous of how running makes me feel. I feel like I can do anything. We are struggling a bit with the whole shift of him having to help with the kids. I just used to do it all, and really I always worked out its just that we had a gym membership before so I could bring the kids with and now that we don't huge reality check. I'm glad I'm not the only one that had to deal with transition. Not that i am but nobody really talks about it. Thanks for your honesty.

April Rowell said...

I love your honesty. Wish I would've gotten to talk to you more on your Tulsa visit in September. I'm honored to have sat at the same table with you though ;)

Alicia said...

Thanks for the wonderful honest post. When we decide to do something for ourselves sometimes the man in our lives may not understand. My hubby supports me but I know he has trouble adjusted to the changes Ive been making.

Jaclyn Kahler said...

Wow! You could not have said it any better!!
My husband excepts me to make dinner every night but refuses to eat healthy! I love him to death but they don't understand how much of a struggle it is to lose weight!
I have also gained more self confidence just recently and its so much better to make myself happy first rather than trying to please my husbands every needs because that's what I used to do!
You are such an inspiration!!!!

www.stayingsanemommy.blogspot.com

m.fulcher said...

I look forward to reading your blog every day! Your honesty and ability to inspire other women is absolutely amazing! GREAT post and thank you or being such an awesome inspiration!!!

Lizy said...

I don't know if I've ever commented before, but thanks for this post! I've just started on my weightloss path but I identify with what you were saying about when you were bigger. I don't enjoy going out. I used to sit on the couch all night. I don't feel sexy. But I already know it's all going to change when I lose weight. My boyfriend would put pressure on me to live a healthier life (he's an exercise science student) but I always took offense and jumped to the conclusion that he though I was fat and unsexy. I can't wait to lose weight and claim my life back!

Thank you! xxxx

Andrea Ross said...

Love and appreciate your honesty here! Its great to hear that you are working on things and they aren't perfect all the time and that you have struggles too. Sometimes I feel like people on blogs or online community try and make things to be "perfect" in relationships all the time and they just aren't. This is a great testament to a working marriage :-)!

Kitty said...

Here, Here! Well said my Dear! It's so great you can SEE and SPEAK the truth, that is awesome. And what you say is true, we all need our 'own' lives too besides being the wife/mother (my mom doesn't think so but she WAS a 50's wife! LOL!) I learned that with my first marriage, it was always him, him, him or us, us, us.....never me or never me and friends...well that marriage ended after 3 years. My 2nd marriage I took those mistakes and made sure not to apply them to this marriage, happy to say we have been together for 18 years. :) you're the BEST sweetie!

scrapforsanity said...

I'm sooo happy you wrote this! Reading this and the other comments makes me realize I'm not so different from everyone else in my trying to please and "do" for everyone but me! When I put my foot down it caused a lot of waves in my house. BUT, I realized my health has to be a priority. Period. It's ok to not solve every problem, it doesn't need to be a gourmet meal every night. They will live:) I am grateful to you for being so honest.

Holly Hartzell said...

Thank you for sharing your intimate feelings about your weight loss. I can relate to this and not many I have talked to discuss this so openly. My spouse lost over 200 pounds after gastric bypass. It changed our marriage for the good and sometimes not so good. I was not used to him being so full of life, and so attractive to others. We were thrilled at his new life, but it did change a lot. I learned that a great number of marriages do not survive gastric process. There are critical psychological issues that also need to be addressed when someone loses a lot of weight. It sounds like you are grasping what really counts and I am so happy to hear this. You and your husband will be stronger because of it. He already loves you so much that he really does want you to have the best life you can have. And by the way, my husband and I are closer now than we ever were. Thank you again for this post and please keep up the wonderful motivation and just being you.

renae.nichole said...

This is so true on so many levels. I was that same girl who did things I didn't like to do or didn't do things I knew I'd love to do. Now I am taking control. A recent perfect example....I wanted to go on a cruise last year but the boyfriend was not having it because he was not going to be going. And last year I listened to him and did not go. Now, in two weeks I'm taking that cruise and I'm gonna love every minute of it. I talked to him and told him why I deserve it and now he is more supportive of it. It just takes some time for him to accept that I'm gonna start doing things that I want to do and sometimes the house may be messy and sometimes I don't cook but that doesn't make me any less of a loving girlfriend.

Anna Lopez said...

Thank you for this post! I met my husband in high school. I was 15 and he was 17. We have been together for almost 8 years now and I feel like since we have had kids I have become just that "mom and wife". I am in the process of losing a lot of weight and a lot of that confidence to do so goes to you, Mama! So again! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!

Stacey said...

I really wish I could say my marriage survived my weight loss but it didn't. We were already having problems before my weight loss and when I lost weight I got my self esteem back and I was more outgoing and not a wall flower. So I was being the life of the party and it felt great.....well he didn't like it so much. He accused me of cheating with my trainers and people at the gym. We grew apart and one day I came home...and he left. Now I'm married to a wonderful man who accepts me for who I really am. It doesn't bother him if I lose 15 pounds or gain 15 pounds. He has seen me at my best and my worst. There's no jealousy there either. I have struggled the last year or so with my weight as I gained back some weight. It seems harder this time around to get it off but I'm committed to doing it.

Thanks for your post. Mine might not have been the fairy tale ending at first but I'm much happier now than I was before. I got my prince in the end :)

Antasha Bates said...

You are so awesome! Don't ever let anyone tell you anything different! The old you reminds me of my present self....so much so that I held back tears. Thank you for letting me know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. :)

HaleeDawn said...

My hubby doesn't want me to become skinny. When I'm on a diet..he brings home cookies..ice cream..you name it. This is just what I needed to hear tonight as I'm sitting here feeling hopeless. No more of this game playing with food. Ain't nobody got time for that!

XO
Halee
haleedawn.com

Amanda Stehlik said...

Marriage vows should say, "through fat times and skinny times," as most couples go through both at some point in time.

SH said...

Your new blog design is seriously beautiful!

Hope you had a great weekend!

-Sheree
The Hartungs Blog
thehartungs.blogspot.ca

The Ben Dance Fam said...

YOU ROCK! I love your blog!!!!

The Stemps said...

Man I love how real you are on your blog and that's why I LOVE it!! That quote about marriage from pintrest is awesome!

BIG S! said...

quite amazing & simply said. i really enjoy your blog!

Ailegna said...

Really enjoyed reading this today!! I am at a place in my life right now where I need to find myself, but often let the anxiety of not being the "me" he married take over doing what's best for me. Love your blog!!

Lara said...

Love this!! I want my husband to see a woman and not a financial provider and caretaker to his son. I need to strive to make myself happier and like I was when I was younger (Ambitious and ready to conquer the world)

Heather said...

I'm here via the Love and Marriage Series, and I have tears in my eyes after reading this post. I think I understand a little bit of how your husband felt when you lost the weight. My husband has lost a LOT of weight in the past year and I am struggling with negative feelings about it. I want to be supportive, but part of me is jealous of his success, part of me is insecure that he won't be attracted to me anymore, part of me is weirded out that there's this completely different looking person where my husband used to be. And part of me is lonely because he used to be a homebody like me but is now always off doing something with his friends that like exercising. I am trying to get healthy too and having a much harder time because I can't seem to stick with it. I am so glad that I found your post because it helped me understand how my husband feels since his weight loss. Congratulations on your success, and on how confident you feel; marriage is about letting each other grow and change over time and I am learning firsthand how difficult that really is!

Liz @ Fitness Blondie said...

I am having the best time reading your blog, girl. I LOVED this blog entry.