With significant weight loss comes a lot of changes.
Not only is your body changing, but so are a lot of other things.
The world around you is now treating you differently.
Whether we want to believe this is true or not, IT IS.
When I was bigger I just blended in. I knew I was big, I was aware of it, so I tried to make The Hubs happy in other ways.
I grew up in the South. Where the woman cooks dinner for the man every night and when he says "jump" she says "how high?"
My mother bent over backwards for her family and her husband. And my dad worked his ass off to provide for me, my brother and my sister.
And I loved that growing up.
My dad was the head of the household and my mother enforced that.
What my dad said, WENT. PERIOD.
It was a constant for me during my childhood. Kids thrive on routine, and we had a good one.
My parents are both very loving and caring and I wouldn't change a single thing about the way I was raised.
But the older I get, the more I realize that things, and TIMES have changed.
I saw my parents marriage growing up as one I wanted to have.
I would have never told my mother this growing up, but I wanted to be just like her one day.
She was an AMAZING cook, an INCREDIBLE caregiver and the smallest lady you'd ever meet with the BIGGEST heart.
Anyone who knows my mom would tell you that.
She is all of 5'1 (on a good day), but she'd give you the shirt off her back if you needed it.
She was a perfect housewife.
So I strived to be just like her in my own marriage.
At this time I was overweight. In the back of my mind I thought "well I'm not sexy, I might as well be a good cook and clean the house!"
So I did that.
I tried my best to have dinner made for my husband every night and I made sure the house was clean, his laundry done, etc.
I was the quintessential 1950s housewife.
And my husband grew accustomed to this.
During the course of our dating my husband felt the need to "protect" me.
I was a young 18 years old and still had a lot to learn about the world in general and how things worked.
And he liked being able to teach me things.
He also liked being able to somewhat "control" what I did.
Now, before you shake your head and think he's an asshole, you must know a few things about my husband.
He just wants the best for me, and sometimes I think he still sees me as that 18 year old girl.
I would have bent over backwards for that man, and I did.
I saw a lot of my own father in him, which is I think what attracted me to him.
He was bold and confident and things were "his way or no way".
I liked his take control attitude.
And then I lost weight.
And things changed a little.
The dynamics of our marriage shifted.
Yes, it came after having kids, but really more so after having lost a significant amount of weight.
No longer was I scared to speak my mind. No longer did I feel like I couldn't do things for myself, that I needed him to do it, or his approval.
Hell, I'd just lost 60+ lbs. on my own, I COULD DO ANYTHING!
That's how I felt... err... feel.
And he's having a hard time adjusting to this.
We are in a transition phase in our marriage.
I no longer want to be the perfect little housewife. Sure, I love to cook and take care of my family, I still have those desires, but the desire to please my husband IN LIEU of feeling sexy is no longer there.
I am not jealous anymore of the people he sees on any given day.
I am happy in my own flabby skin.
And I no longer need someone telling me what to do, I can do it my damn self.
"You aren't the woman I married"
He said those words to me the other day.
He was half kidding with a smile on his face, but those words stuck with me.
He was right.
I'm not the overweight woman who longed to only please you.
I'm not the overweight woman who just wanted to go out to eat and watch movies.
I'm not the overweight woman who came home every day and sat on the couch all night.
I'm not the overweight woman who never wanted to hang out with anyone because I was so unhappy with myself.
I want to go places.
I want to play with our kids outside.
I want to run together.
I want to hang out with girlfriends.
I want to DO STUFF other than cook and clean in order to please you.
I have more energy and more desire and a bigger passion for LIFE since losing weight.
I don't stress over the house not being clean, or toys being everywhere.
I am alive, I am happy, and I AM HEALTHY.
I never felt those things when I was bigger.
Like I said, he's having a hard time adjusting to this new side of me.
I've always been this person, but now it's just amplified.
Losing weight has made me realize something...
I AM WORTH IT!
I don't NEED a man to please.
Although I love mine and I do love pleasing him, it is NOT what I base my universe around now.
My world doesn't end when The Hubs is unhappy that I'm going to Happy Hour with Megan.
He'll get over it.
Because I'm a mom, dammit, and sometimes I need a few drinks.
Now, when he says "no", it's not the end of the conversation.
I will talk him through it and I'm not afraid to stand up to him anymore.
I won't tuck my tail between my legs and mope off.
That's not me, and I'm ashamed to say it ever was.
Marriage is tough. It's not always perfect and easy.
It rarely is.
I saw this the other day on Pinterest and I LOVE it.
I'm first and foremost A WOMAN.
A woman who is quite capable of doing things her way. I may get lost, I may make mistakes, but I'll get there.
And losing the weight taught me that.