4.02.2013

The Show Goes On

Things are looking up y'all.
Last month had you asked me, I would have been bitter and mad about the way things were going in my life.
I would have asked WHY certain things had panned out the way they had.
I would have laughed and rolled my eyes at the joy people seemed to have.
How they could seemingly have such perfect lives, and there I was, struggling to stay afloat.
The reason we think this sometimes is because we compare our "Behind the Scenes" to other people's "Highlight Reels".

It's crazy how a little soul searching, soul cleansing and stepping back can change things.

I have been married for coming up on 5 years. We've been together for 11 years. It feels like 50.
We go through phases. We adjust to new things in our lives. With 2 small children our lives are a constant merry go round.
Each week, same thing, different days.
Work, daycare, me fitting in workouts, The Hubs working.
I'm tired. I struggle.
I want a damn cheeseburger some days.
Most days that's just a passing craving.
I just take it one day at a time.
With Spring in Texas comes days where we are outside more. Playing with the kids, running, taking family walks.
Days that I've decided to put down my phone, not answer the millions of emails I have, and focus on my family.
They need me. And vice versa.
And we're connecting again.

I hope you all have decided to take the #PoundBePresent challenge with me. It's really making a difference in my life, personally.
For the better.

Sometimes when I sit down to write a post, I don't have anything in particular I want to say. I just start to write and whatever comes out, does.
This seems like one of those posts.
Everything and nothing all at once.

I just kinda wanted to let you guys know that it's okay to struggle. That I struggle every day.
To make healthy choices.
To get to the gym.
To be a good wife and mom.
To remember all the things I have to do the next day.

I rarely ever have a Perfect Day. A day when I get to the gym at exactly 5am, get the kids to school with whatever they need for the day, get all the emails out I need to, cook an amazing dinner and get to bed on time. All to get up and do it the next day.
I just kind of wing it most days. I'm the most unorganized person, maybe ever.
I just feel very much pulled in a million directions these days.
And I've got to let go of the thought that I will ever get it all done and done perfectly.
It's just not gonna happen.
And that's okay.
I do what I can.

Yesterday I went to the gym at 5am. This is not much different than most weekdays (although today I slept in because I've been so ridiculously tired lately).
But with the listen of a song during my workday yesterday, I decided I was in need of a soul cleansing run.
I typically don't work out twice in one day, but I needed to yesterday.
The Show Goes On by Lupe Fiasco came on and my legs needed to move.
I got home, laced up and knocked out 5 miles.
It wasn't a significant run.
I struggled to get through it.
I stopped once to walk for a bit, but I played that song over and over and over.
It's my current favorite.
Here are some of my favorite lines in that songs:

Have you ever had the feelin' that you was bein' had?
Don't that shit there make you mad? They treat you like a slave
Put chains all on your soul and put whips up on your back
They be lyin' through they teeth, hope you slip up off your path

So no matter what you been through, no matter what you into
No matter what you see when you look outside your window
Brown grass or green grass, picket fence or barbed wire
Never ever put them down, you just lift your arms higher

Raise 'em 'til your arms tired let 'em know you here
That you struggling, survivin', that you gon' persevere
Yeah, ain't nobody leavin', nobody goin' home
Even if they turn the lights out, the show is goin' on

Those lyrics made me want to lift my arms up while I was running down the side of a busy highway yesterday.
Because I struggle, I survive... and I'm gonna persevere.

62 comments:

Emily England said...

needed this post today. Amen Mama L!

Kara Wilson said...

Once again-thanks. I feel like your life is a "highlight reel". You always look perfect, even while sweating and you appear to have it all together. I am envious of that person. Then you write this and let us know that you are a real wife and mom struggling every day the same way I do. I can relate to this Mama, thanks for letting us know you are indeed human :) it makes me adore you even more!

Marie Massey said...

I personally LOVE your honesty. You can relate because you are just like us all, we struggle. Thank you for putting your life out for us all. I know it has helped me alot. I too, have joined your challenge, with our work schedules, my husband and myself have started no social media after 8 pm. So dar, so good. thanks again for being YOU!

Heather Langston said...

Thanks so much for this. I know how it is to be busy and feel oh so less than perfect and you look at others and think how in the hell do they do it and will I ever be able too. As always you have given me hope thanks for that it helped me today more than you know.

Gina Horkey said...

Good for you for knowing when to take a step back or in the case of your run a step forward. Excited to hear what your pound present challenge yields for you over the coming month. Get it girl!

hfbarr said...

I needed this. Thank you for reminding me that no has a perfect life, even though it seems that they do. I have been having some major struggles lately...each day is a struggle. I have no idea what the future holds, but I know need to have faith that I will be okay. I know I will be a stronger person because of my struggles. Thanks again! You rock!

amanda kaye said...

I really needed this post today. that picture quote at the end really hit me. I have been struggling lately and this made me feel like i was gonna be ok. thank you for this post you rock girl.

Britney Mills said...

Thanks for this. Sometimes it's hard when we feel like we have to be perfect and get it all done, but people will survive if the laundry basket is full, if dinner was burned, and the house isn't spotless. Listen to what you need and that can propel you even further. Hope your day goes well!

Toya said...

Great post I love that song as well. It always helps me to push through the workout, the day, whatever I need to push through at that time.

Toya
www.kismetandkilograms.blogspot.com

Emmy said...

Thank you for saying everything that most of us (I'm sure) want to say. NO ONE is perfect, and EVERYONE can put on a happy, I'm-so-successful-and-pulled-together face. What really helps me when I'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed and unhappy is to remember how blessed I am and to put things in perspective: there are certainly rough days/weeks/months, but life is really mostly pretty darn good. :)

Ashlee said...

Thank you so much for this! I too always compare my life behind the scenes to all the perfect crap people put out there! my husband and I are in a rut right now and trying to make it out of it! We are doing the #poundbepresent challenge and it was actually great! Thank you for putting it out there that you are not perfect, none of us are and this post came at a perfect time!!

Holly said...

LOVE that song! Great post today too!

Chris Dodaj said...

I love you! Your post made me teary eyed - It is refreshing how honest you are and how you share your life without making it all martha stewart.
Thank you!!!!!!! And the challenge has been awesome!!! Keep it up!!

Traci said...

SO ON POINT. I needed this today. Thank you!

Elizabeth Huddleston said...

So I don't usually comment on these things because most of the time I think people don't really care what i have to say, but today i couldn't help myself. I have been following your blog for awhile now and it didn't really click for me what i was doing in the gym until i started reading it. I couldn't figure out what i wanted to do or why I was not seeing a lick of results. When i read your posts about running i thought why not give it a try and i did. I absolutely love it and live for it now so thank you for that.
In regards to this post i had tears in my eyes reading it. Most days I feel like a fat failure because i don't get my workout in, the house isn't clean, or the fact that I didn't get to spend as much time with my little girl that i wanted. But life goes on right? After reading this and then rereading because it touched me so much, I can honestly say i will be practicing #poundbepresent. Thank you truly for how much you have inspired me and i am so thankful i found your blog when i did.

Amy Getz said...

Speak it sista! Thank you for an amazing and inspirational post . . . you do what works for you, your family and your God and the rest will fall into place.

And btw, my kids and I love the song 'Remember the Name' because of your 'recommendation' . . . the clean version that is! ;-) Keep on keeping on.

Jessica Ring said...

I can relate! I think most of us busy mamas can totally jump on that train of thought. Just one day at a time! That's all we can do!

Candice said...

It's so important to "keep it real" otherwise we are sabotaging ourselves with constantly trying to "keep up with the Jones'" - I don't know why we women do that to each other instead of helping to build each other up. No one has their shit together, even the best moms question their parenting, we are our own worst critics ALL THE TIME in everything. I struggle ALL the time with comparison and it really is the thief of joy. I wish I could "want" less and be more appreciative of and happy with what I have - that's my confession and weakness. Sometimes I have days where I think "hey I got this" and am feeling particularly proud of myself as a mom, wife, cook, homemaker, runner, ect - God immediately humbles me and reminds me, that HE is the only perfect one. All we can do is keep on keepin on, and be thankful for the highs and humbled by the lows. Thanks for posting this today :)

Casey said...

Heart you. Maybe no perfect days, but a damn perfect post for me to read today.

Theresa Unruh said...

Well said, Mama.

Shabby Mama said...

Thank you for your post. I needed it with all the blogs I've been reading and everything (including their damn houses) being perfect. The reminder that behind the scenes and the highlight reel hit home for me. There is nothing perfect about me. My house is a mess. We don't eat at the kitchen table (what?)...usually I can't find the kitchen table. There is dog hair on my floors. Sometimes I just wing supper. I fight to get my ass up off the couch every day and workout. After nearly 18 years of marriage and two kiddos, sometimes I wonder what the hell I'm doing with this person. Other days, I wonder what I would do without this person. You're right. We take it one day at a time.
You made the commitment to turn off the electronics at night; my husband works nights so that doesn't work for me. What I will commit to is turning off the electronics in the morning before I go to work and he goes to bed. Then we can have "us" time and chats. Our son is so busy with sports and school that I catch him when I can (usually in the car), and I make it meaningful. Our daughter is away at college so I catch her via the electronic devices (LOL). So, #poundbepresent will work for me in a different way, but it will work for me and my crazy life! Thank you again (sorry for my crazy-long post!)

Samantha Ciaccio said...

So in the same boat! Seriously! I don't understand how some women can go around being all happy and cheery ALL THE TIME! If they are that happy and cheery then I want what they're having! (but I think they are just hiding) Thank you for being such an inspiration :)

survivingmarriagemotherhoodandmyself.blogspot.com

samiciaccio - Instagram

Jennifer said...

GREAT post. I struggle every single day to be the best mom, employee, friend, girlfriend, etc. And, it's so hard...especially because I'm a perfectionist and I don't want people to see me fail. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. They echo many of my own.

I have joined your #poundbepresent challenge and it's already making a difference!

Unknown said...

Wow!! That was awesome! You rock! To me you always seem so put together and on top of it all. It helps to know you struggle too! I read your blog everyday for motivation and inspiration. You are real and honest, and I like that in a person! Most days I feel I am always a step behind everybody! I struggle everyday for perfection, but in the end I know my best is all I can do.

Momto3 said...

As others have said, your honesty is what I LOVE! you have the courage to put it all out there--it's great!
people don't understand sometimes how much you love your kids, they can quickly change the relationships you have even with your husband. You become mom and dad and husband and wife can get lost in the mix--it's a struggle sometimes because we are all human and there's only 24 hours in a day. your blog rocks and love the relationship you let us sneak a peek at. Thanks!!!

Elle Noel said...

Amen! I think we're all guilty of comparing our every day to each others high light reels. We all share the same daily struggles. I feel ya on the early morning work outs. It's rough to get in 5am every single day. Often I have to switch to every other day. I need sleep. Thanks for keeping it real, loved this post!

Courtney @ Journey of a Dreamer said...

I needed to hear this today. I know I'm not perfect, not even close. I have been focusing on being present more and stressing less. I still have the same deadlines and stressors - I'm just choosing to react to them differently.

Auddie said...

I absolutely love how honest you are in your posts and the fact that you are not afraid to swear (I have to tell you my favorite word begins with an F and it's not firetruck) and tell it like it is. I came across this blog today: http://thugkitchen.com/ and about died. For some reason it made me think of you. To quote my husband "it sounds like you could have written this." Gotta love when your husband understands your swearing capabilities.

Joanne said...

Thank you....and although your life is "normal" like the rest of us. I do enjoy your "highlight" reels.

Dee said...

Thanks for keeping it real as always Mama! I think every wife & mom feels these struggles. It's very difficult when so many people require your attention & dedication, and you need to make time for yourself. I can totally relate. This post really gave me a boost today, because I'm feeling guitly about taking time away from my family to work out. I appreciate knowing I'm not alone!!!

Katie Sneek said...

Thanks for this!! You've been such an inspiration for me. I started my own blog today to have a place to share, vent and document my success (hopefully). You've been a driving force in this choice. I thank you from the bottom of my heart <3

Not so evil Shenanigans said...

I needed this today! Thank you! Work life is driving me mad and I decided to read my blogroll while I'm eating my Smart Ones 3 hours later than usual. So glad I did. I'm going to YouTube right now for The Show Goes On! I may blast it in my office - and the rest of the office can just suck it!

Run like a G! said...

I just posted something similar to this (comparing yourself) on my blog!

I think it happens more than we care to talk about!
Hang in there Mama!!!



http://runlikeag.blogspot.com/2013/03/comparing-myself.html

Shannon Thomason said...

I took a month long social media break because I was so tired of reading everyone's "highlight reels." I ventured into a few uplifting blogs during the break (including yours) and found that I was much more positive and focused on my own life and stopped comparing my struggles to everyone else's "perfect" lives. Thank you for being so "you" and not portraying a perfect life. I keep thinking when I read your posts, "I just want to go out and have a drink with this girl!!"

Kelly said...

One of the bests posts from you. You have really hit home for me. I really needed to read this!!!

Peace Love Applesauce- Terri said...

Yep, I think way too many people spend way too much time on social networking when they should be revolving that time around family stuff. I'm on the computer allllll dang day at work, I hardly even wanna be on it at night. Kudos to you for putting your family first!! XOXO!

momFITtingitallin said...

What a great post. Sometimes life gets in the way of life. It is a nice reminder that everyone struggles from time to time. You are a true inspiration family and fitness wise - I also adore that you FITitallin too!

Great post!
Sharee'
www.momFITtingitallin.com

Hoosier Farm Babe said...

Thanks for keeping it real, Mama! Just know that whatever life throws at you, (aside from your family and friends) you have a GIANT support system in all your loyal blog followers. We love you and hope you know that we all (myself included) have been through some tough shit and made it through! :)

Katherine said...

Good for you!!!

Katherine
www.keepingupwithbeasley.blogspot.com

Lore S said...

I feel like you read my mind sometimes. At times I feel like my life is falling apart and I have no control. I look around and see all these happy women and wonder why I couldn't be them? The funny part is everyone always thinks I'm the happy one since I'm so good at hiding all my shit and putting on a happy face. I'm working on making the inside match the outside! #poundbepresent is going to be part of it.

Katherine's Korner said...

This is an excerpt from one of my blog posts a few years ago when a friend of mine asked me how I keep it all together:

Before last night I would have said that I am very transparent. I don't think I give off the perception that I do have it all together. Because I absolutely do not.

The whole conversation opened the door for us to share about the craziness of our daily schedules and to realize we are all in the same boat. Our boats just look different. And on any given day, one of our boats is probably sinking.

Hang in there!

emenchho said...

As a soon to be newlywed and a struggling soon to be stepmom, I so needed your post today! I constantly put so much pressure on myself to fit in the workouts and eat healthy, work, handle the finances, and entertain the girls when they stay with us. Future hubs tries to tell me not to take on so much, but it's hard for a lifetime "overachiever." Thank You!

alyssa yo! said...

i needed this today! you are amaz-balls! haha! be blessed!

Caroline said...

Love your honesty!!

Single in the Suburbs said...

I will start by saying that this is is the first time that I am commenting on your blog. in the last 2 months I have really struggled with my eating habits as well as making sure I'm hitting the gym. I will mark that up to having the first real relationship in my life as well as going through some legal issues with a car accident I had a couple of years ago. I have been beyond upset with the setback that I've had gaining just about 10 pound back of the 50 that I lost and haven't really had the motivation to really put myself back into it. After reading this entry at remind me that I'm not the only 1 that struggles with wanting to eat every single cupcake that I see, or just being lazy for the day. I look forward to reading your posts all the time and they keep me motivated!

Liz Pulice said...


One of my favorites too- such an awesome song!

& I feel ya on struggling most days. I'm incredibly unorganized, yet I still manage to accomplish most of the things on my plate each day.

Keep your head up girl- glad to see things starting to look:)

Megan @ Grimm Tales said...

Even though I know you're human and not perfect, it's just nice to hear how you struggld too. I think it's really awesome you started the be present thing. I really struggle with being on my phone too much.

Jamie Danielle said...

& this is why I love your blogs. Very real & down to earth!!!!
:)

I needed to read this tonight, thanks.

Casey said...

Thanks for your honesty. I struggle w the fact that I struggle also. I am constantly reminding myself that it's ok. But I tell ya mommy guilt (or wife guilt) is the real deal! After all "if you're not enjoying it, what's the point"?

Little Miss Bootyful said...

Can I get an "AMEN!!"

Christina M said...

Thanks for posting this - I've caught myself at times, wishing I could "be more like so & so"; she always seems so perfect, perfect kids, perfect husband, the right hair/make-up/clothes etc...when in reality, EVERYONE has their off days. As a mom, wife and stepmom, I wear 3 hats a day, but I'm also expected to be a good daughter, a great friend, etc, etc. It's nice to hear that there are other women out there, just like me, who try to keep it all together, but some days, we're just trying to survive! Thank you! :)

Samantha @ 24 to 30 said...

Thank you for being real. There is a nasty perfection disease going around in the blogospehere it seems. Everyone likes to pretend like life is perfect. It isn't. For anyone. I am sorry you have been struggling lately but thank you for sharing your struggles with us.

Jaymie Doole said...

You my dear are awesome! That is all :)

Sarah Van Pelt said...

Have loved this song forever and feel the same way you do...I listen to it about every time I ride my horses getting ready for a show...Another awesome one is Go Getta by Young Jeezy/R.Kelly.

Amanda Elaine said...

I so totally needed this post today! I have been so stressed o ut for the past 2 days. Sometimes we just need to stop and take a minute but it's hard when you are doin just enough to get through the day without losing your mind. Once again, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

andreaoutloud.com said...

Aw, love this!
its weird how sometimes little things like that just help you start feeling better!
(PS I still always laugh at your #pound..-in a good way - haha love it!)

Karie said...

Needed to hear this! I am still in the first part of this but will get there!!

NerkyMeg said...

That is the damn truth, lady. Just. Keep. Going. Amirite?

I feel that way a lot of the time too, what with being recently divorced, single mom, about to lose my job, and living with my dad for a bit. It can get overwhelming.

The song "Pixie" by Ani Difranco came on my ipod randomly in the car yesterday after a particularly frustrating day, and it was exactly what I needed to hear. Look it up if you haven't heard it.

Sonya said...

I just love how you and I seem to be on the same page. I could have written this post to the T! It is hard and I feel like I struggle more days than not. I typically want to eat on those days so that is not good at all! and on those days, when I am in that funk, I don't usually post on my blog!

Danielle Morgan said...

Hey I'm late catching up on this post, but thank you I needed this post today- (Weds) - really hit home!! I love your blog- I stalk daily!!!

Keep it all up- but take a breath when you need it!!

PKennedy said...

I really needed to read this, thank you! It's nice to know I am not the only one struggling to balance everything.

Mackenzie Mendoza said...

Love that Lupe song.. it is a good one to work out to :)