I'm linking up with Holly & Jake today and writing a letter to my 21 year old self.
I have done this post in the past where I wrote letters to myself at different ages. You can read that one HERE.... it's quite entertaining.
Grab the button and link up.
Dear 21 year old Brandi,
You look like a leather couch.
I know you think that tan fat looks better than white fat, and you're absolutely right, but there is a line to be drawn.
That line doesn't exist to you. You've crossed it and now people are asking you if you are Lebanese.
Don't even pretend to know what that is, either.
You're an idiot.
Obviously because you are tanning in a tanning bed up to 8 times a week.
You are ruining your alabaster skin.
Okay, I know "alabaster" is so not in right now, but maybe just once a week?
In a few years you'll find a spot on your leg when you are pregnant with your second child. It will scare the absolute piss out of you and you'll make an appointment at a dermatologist as soon as he's born and prepare yourself for the terrible news you think you're going to hear.
You're dying of skin cancer, you just know it.
All those years in the tanning bed have finally caught up to you.
You're freaking out and already starting to write out your will.
(You don't hear terrible news by the way- the spot is benign and ends up being cut off.)
But the appointment with the dermatologist will, hands down, be the most awkward you've ever felt in your life.
You will be 2 months postpartum, still floppy and squishy and you'll have to get completely naked in front of two very fit, very beautiful women.
They will bring out an over sized SPOTLIGHT (think Batman signal) and turn it on full blast and point it IN THE DAYLIGHT at your naked body.
You will never feel so exposed in your life.
They will then proceed to tell you to BEND OVER AND SPREAD YOUR BUTTCHEEKS APART!!!!!! and to LIFT UP YOUR BOOBS!!!! so they can check for suspicious moles, etc.
You will make disclaimers the entire time saying
"I just had a baby y'all, don't judge me!" and
"I just had a man pull a baby out of my hoohaw and I wasn't as embarrased as I am now!" and
"Did I mention I JUST HAD A BABY!?!?!?!"
You are mortified.
Save yourself the embarrassment and stop with the tanning already!!
And PS- your hair is gorgeous. Don't cut it.
**Speaking of tanning- go see my girl, Melinda with KnockoutBody Dallas for an amazing AIRBRUSH tan in the DFW area- she'll come to you!
Mention me and she'll give you $5 off!