6.04.2013

My Scale Broke

After reading Megan's post today about how she finally weighed herself after months of not doing so, I thought I'd post about the complete opposite.

I got back in a rut of weighing myself several times a week recently.
This has been going on for the past month or so.
I'd notice that I'd generally lose a good 3-4 lbs. during the week by eating super clean and then I'd blow it on alcohol and mexican food on the weekends.
I've been in this rut before.
It's what I like to call "the 2 lb. cycle". Even though it's more like "the 4 lb. cycle" for me now.
And being at a smaller weight NOW, 3-4 lbs. is a big deal for me.
It affects me the same way 15 lbs. once did on my 200 lb. body.

It was so hard for me to follow through with my clean eating on the weekends. I mean, I'd do OKAY, but not as good as I knew I could.
I love food, dammit. 
Y'all know this.
I like to eat and I don't like to starve myself or deprive myself of the things I love.
I workout hard and if I feel like I want to eat a cheeseburger and fries, I'll do it. The thing is, I don't really WANT to anymore.
The more healthy food I eat, the less I crave of other crap.

So I'd been weighing myself a bunch lately.
In an unhealthy way.
And just as Megan said, it would dictate my mood for the day.
I'd try and "flush it out" by drinking even more water than I already do (a gallon a day normally).
I'd eat SUPER clean all day and I'd up my cardio. Sometimes by adding in runs when I got home from work, when I'd already worked out that morning.

It's hard to find a healthy balance in your healthy journey.
It takes trial and error.
We all learn from our mistakes.

Truthfully, I started the AdvoCare Cleanse last Monday.
I was going to start it with Megan yesterday, but I wanted to get it done with before I went to Vegas (we leave on Thursday).
I started that cleanse at 146 lbs.
And as of Monday, I was at 141.
And then my scale broke.

And I took that as a sign.

I have thought about buying a new one.
But have decided against it.
As much as I TELL people that the number is JUST a number, it's hard to apply that to my own life.
I have conditioned myself to think that 129 lbs. is my magic number.
A number I'm not even sure I'll ever obtain.
WHY 129??
Maybe because it seems impossible to get to. 
Maybe because I've never been there since I started this journey in 2009. 
I'm not sure.
I like to challenge myself and prove to myself that I can do things I didn't think possible, but I've got to let go of the number.

So I'm glad my scale broke.

Because it's more about how I FEEL than that stupid number.

I was shocked when Megan said she weighed 153 lbs.
Shocked because I see her at the gym every day and she busts her ass, and is LITERALLY shrinking before my eyes.
Her waist is tiny and her "trouble areas" aren't so troublesome anymore.
She is smaller than me, but weighs more.

Let that sink in.

If that's not proof that the number doesn't matter, I don't know what is!

I am, once again, breaking up with my scale and am going to focus on how I FEEL and how my clothes are fitting.
And right now they're fitting pretty good!


Strong is beautiful. 

38 comments:

Tatianna said...

This makes me want to throw out my scale. I'm a scale-a-holic. There I admitted it. That's the first step right? I'm this (-) close to fitting into my size 12 pants. And that's come from someone who just 4 weeks ago was in a size 16. But I focus on the scale. And it seems like it hasn't moved in 2 weeks. I feel thinner, I look thinner, but I'm so focused on that damn number that it sometimes makes me sick and I just want to give up, eat my weight in popcorn and dark chocolate and nutty buddy bars. And then I think about how my son will work out right along with me. And when I'm running up and down my stairs b/c I don't have a treadmill and my hubs is out of town so I can't actually GO running, my son stands at the top of the stairs (they lead to my basement) and he yells " GO! GO! GO!", I'm doing this to feel better about myself. I'm doing this to run around with my kids, to feel sexy for my husband...it's going to be worth it, right?

sblind2 said...

best post ever!

virginia brooks said...

I so needed both of your posts this morning. THIS IS WHY I FOLLOW YOU...to keep me motivated and on track and not to obsess continuously with the scale.

I also have a very BAD relationship with the scale. I weigh myself everyday...why do I torture and torment myself like that!! UGH....I am not where you and Meg are in your journey but I am down 25lbs...That's a big deal. Even tho I still look at myself and see that I am still FAT!!! OMG!!!

just keep swimming..just keep swimming

JMc said...

Your post and Megan's post were perfect for me today. I actually had the opposite problem...kinda weird. Yesterday I felt disgusting and like I had let myself go in the last few weeks...I stepped on the scale and was 6 lbs under my "fat weight". Didn't make me feel better though. Still need to get to the gym and feel better about my body and forget that number. Keep up the motivation!! :)

Catie @ Catie's Corner said...

That is the exact reason I never have and never will own a scale! I know if I had one I'd weigh myself all the time. All. The. Time! I have no clue what I weigh right now. I do know that a slim fitting pair of my jeans is getting really snug around the hips and when I sit I can feel a mini-gut. I don't like it, and know I need to start eating better. Eating less. And at some point some exercise would help. Thanks for a kick in the butt today!! =)

J-Berg said...

Good for you.

I'm starting "the cleanse" on the 17th. Do you have any tips or good recipes/ meal ideas?

Annie B said...

...annnd I am blogging about my weigh in obsession because of you and skinny meg, RIGHT NOW. Thank you. You both gave me courage to speak the truth about what I do each day. Would love a visit from you over at the blog!

Annie B said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Yvonne said...

I'm a new reader to both your blog and Skinny Meg's but my goodness you ladies are an inspiration! I have only begun my journey. I'm 7 weeks in, I've completely changed my eating habits, started working out and have lost 12 lbs and dropped one size. But more importantly I already feel better! I'm more confident in the way I look and my ability to continue to become stronger, happier and healthier. When I have off days I just have to read your blog to realize that's a normal part of this journey and it's ok. Just dust yourself off and keep going. Thank you so much for being an incredible inspiration. We all need to encourage each other as women. :)

AllysonB said...

I think you just convinced me to go home after work today and take a big ole hammer to my scale. Seriously! I am letting it rule my thoughts 24/7...even in my dreams at night. This has to stop. I'm gonna destroy my scale.

Jennifer Lynn said...

Great timing! I am feeling really annoyed with numbers right now, I am stuck in a 3 lb cycle too! Even though I am buying smaller clothes and can run up four flights of stairs w/o getting winded... the number on the little scale is pissing me off! I am going to "break" my scale for a while, put it in the closet and ignore it :) Thanks!

Samantha K said...

What you said about Skinny Meg is total proof that when you are fit and healthy, the number on a scale is irrelevant. You look so awesome--and healthy & happy as well! Forget about that blasted number on the scale and focus on how great you feel and look...and the smaller and smaller clothes :) You and Skinny Meg are wonderful inspirations!!

puttingitallbacktogether said...

I love your positivity when it comes to be being healthy! I come to your at least once a week. I keep putting starting mine off but I love and appreciate the motivation that you and some others that I flow give everyday I don't know about anyone else but I need it! Keep up the great work!

*Heidi*

Erin said...

Loved this post. I think I will do the same, although mine isn't broken (yet). I feel extremely motivated if the number is going down, but if for some fluke incident it didn't move or went up, then I felt like a failure, even though I knew in my head I was working hard. So I'm with you on this. Thanks for the inspiration today!

Jaymie Doole said...

Amen Momma!

Stephanie Suire said...

Thanks to you and Megan for your motivating posts today. I try to weigh myself about once a week and I notice that if I do eat clean during the week then I cheat on the weekend and gain it back. I have been at least five pounds above my "goal weight" for over a year - maybe that means this is the best weight for my body and I need to get over it. Strong is beautiful and I have more muscle now so I am going to lay off the scale for awhile. Have a great time in Vegas!!! And Happy (early) Birthday!

Dorothy Chlup said...

You look great!

I haven't weighed myself in awhile...too dangerous!

Ashley Burns said...

I got teary eyed reading this post, and I know I have a breakup in my near future.

Ashley Burns said...

I got teary eyed reading that post. I now know I have a break up in my near future.

BabyWeightMyFatAss said...

I had spent about 275 days going "Off Scale and On Plan". I follow WW and we talked about it at a meeting. I broke my habit of weighing daily and even multiple times. It did help me to pay attention to more of what I eat but it also helped me know it wasn't all about the number.
Take it as a sign broken scale!

Melissa said...

I can so relate to this. I lost 30 lbs about 2 years ago and have kept it off. However, I tend to go through this exact same 3-4 lb cycle. Mine goes like this: Eat clean and work my butt off during the week, weigh on Friday and think "that's not so bad" and proceed to gorge on chips and guacamole and booze over the weekend and sit on my rear end, feel guilty on Monday, weigh Monday and get mad at the scale b/c it's gone up since last Friday. Begin cycle again.

It's hard to break. Sometimes planning something over the weekend like a hike or a day trip somewhere so that I am not tempted to sit around drinking beer on my patio helps get me out of a rut. This post inspired me to do that so thanks!

Morgan King said...

it so is going to be worth it, and hooray for you getting your son in on it and setting a healthy example. my hubs travels for work too so I take the kids to the gym and let them play and "exercise" while Mommy exercises. I think you are awesome!

Allie F said...

I can completely relate to your struggle with finding a balance. I'm definitely not as dedicated to exercise as you are, but I have ran half marathons in the recent years & remember how I would feel that I "deserved" junky food because I worked out hard. Recently I've been trying my best to not associate food as a reward. I feel like I would always over do it, and feel guilty. I recently discovered Tim ferriss's book and have been following the slow carb four hour body plan which entails allowing myself one "cheat day" per week. I have never had major weight issues, but by following this guideline, for the first time in probably 7 years I have finally lost weight (14lbs... With a start weight of 143) and it has stayed off, even with minimal exercise. My one day off gives me the guilt free "binge day" that I personally need for my healthy balance, & since I'm eating extremely healthy 85% of the time it doesn't have an awful lingering impact! I absolutely love your blog! Thanks for being so open! http://herbearings.weebly.com/1/post/2013/03/the-four-hour-body1.html

Kaylin said...

I totally agree with you. It's just a number (although my mind thinks otherwise). But this week I weighed in at boot camp and I was 7 lbs. heavier than I was last year at this time but 7" smaller (cumulative of all my body measurements) and had last 1.5" in my waist, and I'm stronger.

I can't complain.
Nothing can stop me!!!

Theresa said...

You and Meg look awesome! I've been trying to figure out the whole scale thing myself -- maybe take the summer off? I have a drs appointment on the 25th -- maybe then and not again until September? Trying to focus more on building muscle and getting running times down. But you ROCK!!!!!!!!

Noodle Mama said...

I too weigh myself WAY.TOO.MUCH. It's ridiculous. I can totally relate to the number on the scale dictating the mood I'm in. A few years ago I bought a new scale as my old one was about 100 years old and the new one was a nice digital...well....it weighed me 11 pounds higher than the old piece of crap! 11 POUNDS! I cried. Hard. And for some reason, I felt like I just got fatter in the time it took me to go to the store and buy the dumb thing. I thin it's time for mine to "break" too!

Run like a G! said...

GOOD!
That number is ONLY a number. NOTHING ELSE!

If you are feeling good working out and your clothes are fitting, then who cares about that number. Your weight does not define you!

If you want to eat a cheeseburger, eat it! Life is too short, you just get back on track with your next meal! It is all about knowing your boundaries and not binge-ing!

Good for you for breaking up with the scale! I have done the same thing!!!

Vietmom said...

I learned a while ago to not pay attention to the scale number, I go by how my clothes fit me. A year ago I was my smallest I had been in years, a size 10 and on the scale I was 180 pounds that taught me scales don't matter.

Tasha @ New American Classic said...

Thank you SO much for posting this! It echoed my recent thoughts, and it feels so reassuring to hear it from someone else, especially someone who has a lot more experience with fitness than I do.

Screw the Scale! It's a lying whore anyway!

Parlor Girl said...

Girl you look so awesome now! I say screw the scale anyways!!!!! Keep up the good work hott mama!!!!!

XO
The Parlor Girl

Kelly @ turned UP to ELEVEN! said...

Good for you! Let me just say BOTH Of you look amazing. Where you are now and where Megan is, are my "first goals" in this weight loss journey. I am currently hovering at 207, it's driving me nuts, mostly because when I was busting my butt before my wedding I got down to 180ish. When I see my photos I don't see a 200+ person, I see someone who needs to lose weight but I guess my vision of 200+ is off? Either way neither of you look the weight the scale is telling you and we're all different. I think scales are good for a bit of progress so long as we don't get obsessed. I've been trying to step away from the scale. Thanks ladies for posting these it's really, really helpful!

Brittany Brisbay said...

Last summer i did the entire 60 days of Insanity videos, lost a pant size (without really even changing my diet), gained a ton of strength, i mean for the first time in my life i could do 10 pushups.
BUT in that 60 days i gained 2 lbs. I was so obsessed with that number that i saw my accomplishments as a failure. yea my clothes were fitting better and i felt amazing.. but i gained 2 lbs. So i quit trying. If Insanity couldnt fix me, nothing could.
Then i gained almost 15 lbs.

It wasnt until i started seeing your results that the light bulb really went off. Who cares what your weight is when you look amazing? I have started a million different weight training regimens and have quit all of them because i can never lose pounds while doing them.

I'M BREAKING UP WITH MY SCALE!!!

MamaL, keep up the good work and thank you so much for sharing your struggles and your victories. You have been, and i'm sure will continue to be, such a huge inspiration to me.

Bitch on a Diet said...

I do think that the scale is just a number but sometimes, especially if youre just starting out, you need something tangible to let you know that youre going in the right direction.

Tracie S said...

This is something that I've always struggled with! I fluctuate a few lbs every week and I just had to put away the scale and go by how I feel and how my clothes fit.

Finding a skinnier me said...

I have a hard time with the weighing myself, recently I hid it into the spare room so I'd stop looking at it. I had a bad week and a gain, that was enough for me to be done weighing myself for awhile.

Sonya said...

I didn't weigh myself for almost a whole month and it was freeing! I have vowed to only weigh once a week and NO MORE! It is so hard though because I want to check my progress but unless I am doing some drastic HCG diet there is no way I am going to lose a pound a day! I instead focus on being intentional with what I eat and how much I exercise.

Susie said...

very motivational :-) I wish there was a like button! I'd so like away!!

Kaylea Hurtz said...

Well I'm fifteen and this last fourth or July I looked at the family pictures and thought wow I was skinny last year and then my gallbladder stopped working and I couldn't digest food properly I want to be healthy I don't admit my weight to anyone because I'm that self conscious of how people will think of me so I'm now on a weight lose journey to better myself and some people might think its silly because of my age but I'm big my family is big I'm scared to weigh myself and be let down by the number