3.13.2014

Transitioning from Working Mom to SAHM

Oh man, there are certain things I don't talk about on this little 'ole blog.
1. Breastfeeding.
Because the breastfeeding nazi's are OUT THERE, bro. 
And hey, I used to be one of them... then I had to whip my boob out and ACTUALLY breastfeed, and I realized that that shit was hard.
And it's not for errbody, mmmkay.
And everybody and their mothers damn brother has an opinion on it. Totally cool. But it sparks these massive debates that gets everyones granny panties in a bunch.
And shit, I just like to laugh. 

2. Religion.
Again with the opinions and assholes. Everyone's got one.

3. Politics.
I'm not informed enough to have a super eductated opinion. There ya go.

4. Working Moms vs. Stay at Home Moms.
Because every which way is hard. Okay.
Being a mom is hard.
Being a WORKING mom is hard.
Being a stay at home mom is hard.
THEY'RE ALL FUCKIN HARD. 
twss.

So before you get your shit all twisted, remember I said that.

NOW, having said that, I've done both.
For the past 7 years I've worked full time (at a legit job), ran a website and all that that entails (which is a full time job in itself!), ran a household (sorta), been a wife, mom, chauffer, made time for the gym, WHATEVER.
And it's been tough.
And most days I felt stretched too thin that I thought I was going to lose it.
But at the end of the day, I was there, with my boys, and all was okay.
The hustle and bustle of the days seemed okay with those little nights and weekend breaks.
A great time to recharge my batteries.

But there were days I would be at the office and think "gosh, I'd love to go pick up the kids and take them to the park right now", or they'd have a day where parents come eat lunch with you and I'd never be able to make it to daycare and back to work in time and I'd sit at my desk, thinking of if Big T was wishing I was there, eating with him like some of the other parents were.
It was hard. 
And I get it, most parents work. 
But I felt stretched. 
And I know a lot of moms feel that way but don't have the luxury of staying at home.
Or maybe they're like me and staying home ALL THE TIME with the kids isn't their forte. 

I love my children. They make my heart whole, but I can not stay at home with them 24/7.
Spin that any which way you want to. 
But that's the truth of it. 
They are still in daycare. I still work, study and have stuff to do. 
And we have that luxury right now of keeping them in daycare.
Plus, The Hubs and I are big believers that they need to be on a firm schedule and in a school environment, around other children, and constantly learning. Things I can't teach them. 

But the good thing now is that I can take them for donuts every Friday morning.
I don't have to rush with them in the mornings. No more breakfasts in the car.
We can sit at the kitchen table and eat, together.
And sure, the number of times I say "EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!" is ridiculous, but I'm lucky I even GET to say that.
And I can make it to their middle of the day school functions. And be more active in their classroom activities.
And I get to pick them up early and take them for frozen yogurt.
And on nice days I get to take them to the park.
I have more freedom to do the things I neglected before. The things I never had time for.
Not only my "household duties", but my studying, and grocery store trips I used to have to cram into the weekends, and focusing on this dream of mine.

I know that's not feasible or relatable to a lot of people, and that's okay.
We all go through life changes. And that's just where I'm at right now.
And blessed to be so.

The transition has been different. The flexibility I have now is nice. I get to spend more time with my kids and not feel like the 24 hours in the day is never enough.
I'm blessed.

There will come a time when work will fill up my day again, but I'm hoping to always have the flexibility to train and make my own schedule. A schedule that will allow me to balance all the things I need to. A schedule that will allow me to do what I love and see the people I love as often as possible. 
Because at the end of the day, THAT'S what really matters. 

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42 comments:

Devon said...

I am so happy for you! I so wish I could be a stay at home mom...seriously. I work FT and it's fine, but like you said, the flexibility would be so nice. Excited to see where this takes you!

Kalen said...

LOVE this!! I became a stay at home mom the unplanned way. Plain & simple, I was laid off. It hurt... a lot!! But, then I realized I had a lot more time for my little lady & we are making it work financially. I pray this way of life can continue, but I cherish each day at home with my little girl! It won't last forever!

Leyna said...

I started staying home (I work part time for my previously full time employer) with my kids about two and a half years ago. My kids still go to preschool. They love it and it gives me time to do things I need to do. Being a stay at home mom is definitely harder than I thought it would be! Enjoy it!

Lizziegirl said...

Enjoy it girl!!! You are getting precious moments to breathe...enjoy them, smell the roses for 30 seconds :) these are the things that make our lives worth living...don't let anyone make you feel like you don't do enough or do too much...especially yourself...keep breathin...and keep livin...L-I-V-I-N (I love Matthew McConaughey)

aquintana said...

You are such a wonderful mom! I have a 4 year old boy and another baby on the way. I have been at my job for almost 6 years and it is VERY lenient and my sons daycare is right down the road, so when they do have parties and such, I am able to attend. I give so much praise to SAHM especially moms to multiple children! I just don't have the patience to teach my son the things he needs to learn. You're doing it right Mama L! Great job

Amanda @ More Like Me said...

I am going through a similar transition right now as I am about to have my second baby and SAH full-time. Aside from my 1yr maternity leave after my daughter, I have always worked.
It's tough getting into the groove of being home ALL DAY and entertaining a child ALL DAY when you're not used to it, but I also LOVE IT and wouldn't change a thing! We have done so many things together that we wouldn't otherwise have time for, and I'm much less stressed.
Both are hard, I know. But we're all in it together!

Crazy Mama J said...

Love your honesty and your humor. We all do what is best for our family, and it is all hard. You said it, sister!

Heather @ Heathers Hurrah said...

Sounds like you are enjoying the balance right now! You totally deserve that! Your kids are adorable too FYI ;)

-Lauren said...

Love this. It's all true, all aspects, all sides of the arguement!

Jessica said...

I love this post because I have done it both ways and being a working mom is HARD and staying at home is HARD. But you have a golden chance to not only make a difference in your children's lives, your life, but people you don't even know yet. I respect you for following your dreams and not letting people bog you down. Go get em girlie and be the best that you can. Your boys will admire that!!! ALSO, so glad you are enjoying this time in your life, you should.

weston'smommy said...

You may have mentioned this, and its probably none of my business. But what are you thinking of doing when you go back to work?

Lisa C said...

I think it's great you're making the very best of a situation that was out of your control. You continue to inspire us every day!

Alex @ Case of the Munday's said...

All of it really is hard. The mom guilt, the sleepless nights, the working, the staying home, ALL of it. So happy (okay fine, and a little envious)you seem to have found a good balance!

Gina said...

I think you're at a place where many moms would LOVE to be; good for you!! My husband recently started staying at home & I only work 4 days a week (really reduced our expenses & live off a tight budget to do so) and feel also extremely blessed. I think our generation needs to look at the priority list & our options & make it work for us:-) It doesn't have to be all one way or the other & we don't need to feel so f-ing guilty all of the time as mom's. Healthy, happy kids? Healthy, happy mommy's & daddy's? If yes, then feel blessed & keep trucking!!

Jessica said...

LOVE THIS!! You are amazing and I know what you mean, We love our kids but by Jesus we spend every waking moment with them would drive us all nuts. Sometimes we just want some us time which is the gym and house hold duties. I completely agree that kids should be in a school environment around other kids - it's good for them to learn things that we wouldn't think of as moms. Keep doing you & things will work out perfectly!!!

Jasmine @ FleurtyandFit said...

You are so blessed to have this opportunity! As a full time working mom--I have sacrificed salary for the hours/flexibility and I must say it is so worth it! I went from a full time Nurse Manager position, working 7-4 to a school nurse, where I get to be home when my kids get home, and enjoy my holidays and summers off with them. It's the best of both worlds--bc God knows I can't stay home with them 24/7 either! More power to those who can!

cindie nunez said...

when I had my first son, we had him circumcised and I blogged about how sad it made my heart to see him hurting..... well some jerk wad took my post and used it against me in his own blog calling what I did worse than having a female circumcised......grrrrrr.......I found it one day when I just happened to google my name. I was shocked at the nerve and rudeness of the guy. so yah....... I get it.

Kelly @ turned UP to ELEVEN! said...

The fact that you can still afford the daycare is awesome and I say use it to your full advantage. What you want to do with your life is no joke, you will have the health of others in your hands and they will trust you so earn those certification skills and get it girl!

Every mother is different, every situation is different and I think it's great that you are able to do all you can and I'm also a firm believer that while kids learn a TON at home, they also learn a lot in the real world with new friends, and new situations.

Keep up the great work!!! Loving yourself and following your dreams helps you love others fully and helps you to encourage them to follow their dreams.

OK enough of that sappy shizz - Proud of you girl!

Christy said...

I'm so glad you are able to enjoy the special moments with your boys.

TamJo said...

I am so happy for you that this has all worked out! After I had my son I decided to go part time. I was a hard decision after working full time for 10 years. We've cut back on doing different things and sometimes I question if it was the right decision, but this post definitely reiterated how I feel. I love having the flexibility and the extra time with the people that mean the most to me! We are definitely blessed!

Valerie @ Fab Chick Gets Fit said...

I worked in an office for years as well. Then I became a work from home mom and I love it. My kids are in school {2nd grade and pre k} but I absolutely love being able to spend more time with them. We also do donuts on Fridays {after school.}

As I'm preparing to compete myself, I just notice I have a better schedule and I have a lot more energy to do things. Not to mention me and the hubs get some alone time during the week when he comes home for lunch. It's great. You have to do what's best for you but I agree- it's all hard. We are rockstars, we do what we have to do.

Ashley said...

Love this. Can't get much better than this..Bro ;)

Jessica said...

Mama, I just have to say I'm lovin these posts everyday!! Thank your your inspiration!

Heather James-Nelson said...

You are the BOMB!!! I would be the EXACT same if I could stay home with my son. I believe that children should be with other children learning structure and things that I can't teach them. I would love to be able to do things with him during the day don't get me wrong but I still think he needs to be in school too! I am so happy for you that you are able to live your dream!!!

Kimmi said...

Being any type of mom is hard. I wish that there was not so much judgement between moms....we should be cheering one another on! Each mom is different just like each child is different. We should be helping one another out on the mommy front just as much as we help one another out on the weight loss front. It is awesome how hard you have worked to balance family, work, and your own life. Now that you are doing a new transition it is good to see that you are still taking care of YOU. Moms are allowed to take care of themselves, it makes us better moms! Big hugs to you girly, glad you get some extra time with your kiddos but still get time to be the best version of you!

Cindy R said...

I was the same way with my children. I liked that they had the structure of daycare/preschool or if I had extra time and wanted to spend more with them I could take them in late or pick them up early or miss a day here or there. When my daughter turned 3 my work situation changed and I had more time. I put her into preschool 3 mornings a week. At the end of the first week she came home and said she wanted to be at school all day with her friends every day. I cried because I felt like a bad mother, then I thought about it and decided if she likes preschool, the structure, the learning, and the friendships, I wanted her to be where she wanted to be. Today my children are 17 and 20. Both excelling in high school and college.

Niki - Heavy Cupcake said...

Yes girl, YES! I love my children and I work full time. There are so many times that I wish I could be at home cleaning while they're at school or meeting them for thanksgiving dinner at school. Or awards days. Or field trips. I want to be able. But some people have to work, and one day, I hope to get that freedom that you just gained. But lord knows, I can't be around the chirren all day everyday. That takes a special person and it sure as hell ain't me. Thank you for saying it. Thank you for putting that out there. Were not all hands on moms. And we don't have to be.

Mary Byrd said...

Love how you keep it real. My kids are now teenagers and oh how I wish I could have enjoyed those younger years by staying at home.I know what you mean when you are spread to thin. I am a single Mom , work full time, taxi driver , recently a fashion blogger and still try to squeeze a workout in. You are such inspiration to me and so many other women.. That's the beauty about us strong women.. we can wear many hats and make them look good!

Mary aka Curlybyrdie

Chris Dodaj said...

can I just say I love you. for sharing and inspiring me....with every post!

I'm so happy for you! I'm sure the boys are loving the new change as well!!

Jacki Suchy said...

Awesome! What a great luxury to be able to have the best of both worlds at this point in time.
I am with you... I am cannot stay home 24/7 with my kids - I just CAN'T! I love them, they are my world - but work is my sanctuary. Some people get it, some people don't. But it works for me!

Enjoy this wonderful slice of life you've got going right now! Thanks for sharing your journey with us :)

Katie S said...

I have two boys (3 & 21 months) and I am home with them 4 days a week and they are in daycare 1 day while I work. It gives me the sanity I need and them an opportunity to play with other children.
What works for one doesn't work for everyone. Finding what does work isn't always easy.
At the end of the day, you gotta do what's best for you and your family and be happy.

Andrea said...

I've done both before too, but I LOVE being able to be home with my babes. I left my career as a veterinarian, but it will always be there for me when my girls are older and I'm ready to go back.

Lara said...

So happy that you now have the flexibility. My heart breaks when I can't attend the special functions at Wyatt's school. My commute is 45 minutes so there is no way to get there and back.

jessica nicole said...

i can totally relate to this post. i work as a restaurant manager where my hours were never guaranteed. and by that i mean, if it says i got off at 7 i may not get off til 9. i was lucky to have my mom watch the kids and husband pick them up when needed but I was missing out on so much, just like you said. now i have a great work from home job that is so great and flexible. i'm able to take my daughter to school every day and pick her up, participate in her class when she wants, go to the park on a nice day and you know what? thats what matters. these kids are what is the most important.

so happy for you on this new journey!

~April~ said...

I am so glad I am not the only one who cannot spend all my time with my kids and I am so happy they are older now, 13, 11 and 10. Makes things so much easier! I also work part-time evenings and volunteer at my middle child's school some days for lunch. But I love while they are at school having that time. Can we afford for me to be part-time, well we live on a tight budget but we make it work.

Little Miss Bootyful said...

I loved being home with Jus but there just were the funds for me to continue doing so and so that meant we were pretty much couped up around the house and not able to get out and do stuff that took cash. Sooo back to work I went- I love being able work- I love being blessed to have a job- I love seeing Jussie's face when I come through the door to pick her up and that she has that daily interaction with other little humans. HOWEVER, I know exactly what you mean about that other stuff that you miss when you're working. I am so happy for you- enjoy it. Soak up every little ounce of this new chapter, before you know it you'll be on a new one. Life goes by so fast. Lief is going on year 2 of college- damn if that doesn't make me realize how old I am AND how fast life goes. For now, just smile and revel in every little miniscule moment. I heart your face.

Robyn said...

The smile on your face says it all, Brandi. What a heartwarming post!

Nichole said...

I'm so happy for you! I love reading your blog, your such an inspiration. I'm glad you get to pursue your dream! Good Luck, you'll do great!!!

CECELIA CADDELL said...

Yay!!! I"m a SAHM . And I love it! Now I just need to figure out how to encorporate working out with breastfeeding etc...she's only 3 months....but, I gotta do something!! Congrats!

Loyal RUN said...

This is just awesome! :) You are an awesome Momma.
I feel the same way. I want to have a career. I really do. Some people refuse to believe that's what I want, because I don't want it right NOW.
My kids are still so young and I want to be able to be there for them.
One day they won't want me around anymore, and when that time comes, I will go out and find a job and start doing what I want to do for myself.
I'm happy. My family is happy. That's all that matters to me.

Stephanie de Melo said...

thanks for this! Its a good reminder that no matter if you are working full time/part time or a stay at home mom. We all have the same challenges as moms. Glad to know I am not alone.

jordannix said...

Love it! I am in desperate need of advice and inspiration to get into the gym being a working (and single) mom. It's so hard to get into the gym during times that don't throw off your and your kiddo's schedule. agh.